Friday, April 29, 2005

Not to forget

I read this in another mom blog today and it gave me some purpose: like I didn't have enough epiphanies this week! Any way it said:

The preacher started to talk about kids and spirituality and how children seem to be born with an innate ability to see that we are a part of something bigger. They have a sense of wonder about everything.
He told a story of a little girl who kept asking her parents for time alone with her new baby sister. The parents were a little worried about what the private meeting would entail, but they agreed (and kept the door open a bit) to let the sisters have a moment together in the baby's room. The little girl went up to the crib and moved it a bit to try and wake her baby sister up. When the baby woke up the little girl said, "Can you tell me about God because I am starting to forget."
The point of all this is that what the minister was saying to us really made sense to me. In order to be happy, connected, productive members of society, it is important to understand that we are a part of something that is bigger than we are as individuals.

J and I aren't church goers, we have not found a church home that works with us as a family. We aren't looking as actively as I would like but we are both spiritual people, believe Christ is our Lord and savior, believe we must be better in our faith however - we just don't know how yet. This just makes me remember to try harder so my little girl doesn't forget.

is an opinion ever worth $245

Today is the day the appraiser comes to tell us whether the house we currently live in and pay way too much in rent for is going to be worth us pay almost the same amount for in mortgage payments.  
irony? anyone? anyone at all?
We are discussing the possibilities of turning it into a single family dwelling, pimping it out, making it our home instead of the apartment we live in. I wish someone had a TV show where they pimp your house the way Xzibit pimps cars. Flat touch screen T.V's every where. that could be hot... but then they could go totally the wrong way. ... Lime green walls and wine bottle label wallpaper. Hey I've seen it happen on those shows! I guess we are on our own. But that's not bad Jerry and I have pretty good taste and we aren't afraid to jack a good idea - at least in decorating. Will keep you posted!     


the problem with the phone company....

The problem with the phone company - out side of the obvious long list of things any one who uses our product will tell you- including me as I worked in the complaint department for three years, until this March. (Whoo hooo! freedom!!!) Anyway , the problem is that it is boring as hell and while hearing all the ways I get cursed out in any given 24 hour period in my old position might have been exciting for you all - it is not the case any more, and I work in the most boring office SBC could have ever pieced together. My job, once I complete the training that is scheduled for SEPTEMBER, will be to fix broken circuits, instead of people. Circuits don't curse, they don't yell, they don't call my mom out of her name. They don't sling racial epithets like confetti at a new years eve party, they don't hold me responsible for the bad day they were having before they got to me . They are boring as hell. My office is full of people who don't appreciate how boring our job truly is. They, while seemingly adults to my untrained eye (as at my last office,it was like being in highschool everyday) they feel stressed at the same situation that brings me joy. I wake easily daily now with none of the stress I used to carry into THE PHONE COMPANY. They complain about.... I don't really know what they complain about , the just complain and while I think it is a bit amusing - they take their stress very seriously. Have transfers in to go to the place I just left because "nothing could be as bad as we have it here" they say. I wish them well and tell the people I liked to put in their transfers - as slots will become available for them too soon. Why do I tell you this?
Because I read blogs everyday whoms daily grind is amazing. They do remarkable things every day. Doctors, law enforcement, major movie directors -actually his everyday is boring but he warned me before I started reading it, skip him there are many other people with wondrous everydays. People visiting foreign countries with their jobs, adopting children everything! People who see the beauty in things I just see regular. My everyday makes me wonder why I even blog it. I am just a mom, soon to be a wife, a friend, a sister, a niece, a daughter, a cousin, a poet. Maybe as I keep writing I will find the amazement in that. You never will however. Because the phone company sucks for excitement - it is boring as all get out and I just thought you should know.

P.S if you want to help a girl out and you have SBC service use this information to make your orders
1-800-U-ask-SBC apparently they actually work harder to take care of our friends and family and I appreciate that. You may too you but you have to have a user ID when you call. (use mine RJ2545) or contact me via e-mail and I will make sure you get a call back.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

humans rock

People still exsist. WE are still individuals and we are still fun loving wonderfully creative people. don't beleive me here I have proof! check this out!

seemingly pointless change

Life happens and like.... that... everything you thought you knew about life changes. Your understanding of God is tested, your faith poked in the chest like ...and, now what? And now what? What can you do? how do you stand in the space of a man who has just lost the woman he pledged to love and say anything? How do you hold a child who will never feel her mother again?

My uncles wife who was celebrating the birth of their daughter on Friday April 22, died yesterday afternoon, apparently due to complications that went unnoticed by her doctor. She was young, in my age range. She was excited about having her daughter. She just glowed with gladness that her child was coming, the last time I saw her, and that her child was now here I'm sure.

Her family is angry, I understand as much as one can without losing my sister, my cousin, my friend, my husband, my mother. They are angry and are setting up to lash at one another. Their pain needs an outlet and they will lash at the in-laws and vice versa. I am praying for strength and direction to help stop it, to sooth if I can but I don't know what to say. I don't know that they will hear that it is not what she would want. They know that, they have to know that already but pain has a way of muting the obvious. Each family is trying to vie for that baby, I know they feel that baby is all that is left of her and that child has her place in each family, but most importantly in her fathers home. I want to tell them to hold on to everything they can of her, every memory, every dream, becasue that child will crave them. I want to tell them to keep her human, tell her daughter everything about her mom. Write down everything before time makes those memories dull and rewrites them. Remember that baby is too small to know why her family is hurting and she needs them to hold together across marriage lines, across bitter histories, she must become the common ground, so I pray that God shapes their hearts once they become open to his love and will

Then I went home last night and held my common ground. I vowed to leave detailed instructions for my family when I die. I will print and bind my blog entries monthly so my daughter can have my thoughts. I'm going to find the letters and jorunals I wrote to her and package them together for her, so they are easy to find if or when the time comes. I went home last night and held my common ground, kissed her, smiled at her happy face and put her to bed, I lit our candle and incense and loved her the way I do every night. I kissed my fiancee, told him I loved him. I thanked my granny for staying with the baby so we didn't have to take her into that. I called my mom and sister, called my aunt, called my father. We made plans to see Jerry's dad this weekend. We promised we would spend more time trying to see our family. We became the people we should be everyday but are too busy to find the time to be.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Eastside Out - the reality series

One of our family's best friends Adam is moving to Japan in less than five weeks, and it is a joyous occasion for him and we are so proud, but on the other hand - Adam is leaving, and he is such a fixture in our home it is like sending our child away on his first adventure.

Last night he came over to have Jerry pick out his laptop for the trip. They sat around talking about fantasy worlds, politics, roleplaying, computers and video games all while shooting up random fish on X-box Halo 2 live. i stuckmy two cents in 'Jerry -didyou set up his e-mail account yet?' and 'I'll show you how to blog so you can tell us what is going on,' and ' don't forget to buy a digital camera as soon as you get there,' all that was left was for me to spit clean his cheek and let him go. I told him I wish they could have made a reality show of his antics on this trip, we could call in Eastside out. We both know he's gonna turn that country inside out for sure. But I'm more excited about the change the country will hve on him. They played computer games and ate bad soup, and talked for hours before Jerry came to bed.

As the time passes I become more and more aware of what his absence will mean to our house. Who will Jerry call to just talk to? Who will I call to come and save me from Jerry as only your husbands best friend can? Who will speak Japanize to the girl? Who will leave Guiniess in my fridge? Who will kiss me on the cheek everytime I cook for him? Who will show up at exactly athe right time? Who will take Jerry to see movies I just don't want to see? Who will ride with us and fold himself in our way too little back seat just to make faces at the baby? Who will tell us tales of fencing (with swords silly!) and coffeeshops and all the chics he should have tried to pickup but didn't? Who will drive us crazy by just being Adam?

But as any mother knows, it is his time. I've never met someone whose time has come so blatanly - there are neon signs and naked women dancing by the airport gates. We will miss him, but we look forward to the man he returns as. Maybe he will be albe to tackle this challege head on and do the things he never dreamed he could. J and i know he has it in him, I just wish it didn't take a whole different contienet and at least a year there for him to find it. But he will and we will welcome him back to chilled Guiness and open ears for the tales he did not send to us in e-mail. I've never been so glad to miss someone.


Lately I have been going through my yearly self cleaning. I psycho-analyze myself, look at every nook and cranny, and figure how I can make my self better, stronger, smarter, more efficient, and ultimately happier than I was the year before. I avoid new years resolutions but on my birthday I think its fair to be self introspective. (Is that a word?) anyway, this year my hunt has been very varied, kinda like the house, ultimate success is inevitable, difficult but promised, but like the house, the elephant has stopped vanishing and now I have caught it.
One of my biggest fears in becoming a mommy was that I would lose my identity in becoming mom. That noone would remember my name, I would be forced to write mommy on those "hello my name is tags", and upon my marriage to her father which will take my own name and maybe what is left of my identity and replace it with his, will leave me as 'Mommy Henderson', when Raquita was so much cooler.
Not only was my name cooler, but I was cooler. As a single childless human I ran the gambit after I broke up with the boyfriend from highschool, I blossomed into quite the human. I wrote and performed poetry, took road trips when ever I thought about it, I was fierce. I dyed my hair bright red, and then shaved it when it suited me. I wore wrestling and soccer shoes because I liked them. I drove my mother crazy. My sister looked like a saint next to me. She the 'finance major with good grades from birth through college graduation' - me the 'got good enough grades to graduate high school and get into college' - then dropped out cause it costs to much and I needed to live some more. I have met wonderful people, from famous poets to poets who will be famous one day. I have genuine friends from that time, even if I don't see them as often as I should. And I am alright with that, I am glad of the life I have lived. I remember that fear of becoming MOM and in looking at my life now I know I wouldn't trade it for all the single life - sex in the city type diary entries in the world. and this time of introspection has shown me why.
I have learned to be a genuine friend to the people in my life. Friends call me Mamma Queue, and I think its kinda cool. I, and my family are home to so many people. They come to be comfortable in our space, because we work hard to keep peaceful energy in our home and they know they are welcome. I have loved and learned how to be the best lover that I can be today and know that I am still learning for tomorrow, J offers the best canvas for perfecting this part of me and I am glad the be the canvas he practices on. I have become a "we", a piece of a completed puzzle that grows bigger and more defined everyday that C learns something or figures out what a word means, or J becomes more comfortable with his role in our world, or I learn how to be better at this family thing. Because we are an official bonafide family. And that feels good. There are so many things I plan to do to make this year better than the last, they are not difficult things, not hard changes by any means but they will make our family better, they will make me better. And that's the goal isn't it? To everyday be better than you were yesterday. Love harder. Forgive easier. Be more honest with yourself. Be the woman you envy in your self. Do the things you wish you could, because you can. Know that you are your worst roadblock and vow to stop. Be the woman you want your daughter to grow into. Be the woman you want your son to marry, be the woman you want your husband to dream of. That is my goal for this year.
Everytime she churns those little chubby legs to get to me, everytime he pauses to watch us play, every time she stops to watch us kiss, it reminds me how connected we are and how blessed we are to have each other. So long live Mommy Henderson, I may not be as cool as I used to be but I wasn't Mom, or wife then either, and this me is way cool enough.

Monday, April 25, 2005

personality test

I took a personality test today.. (Can you tell I need something to do at work?!?!?)Here are the results.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Work ethic36%
Self absorbed23%
Conflict seeking43%
Need to dominate56%
Change averse36%
Peter pan complex23%
Physical security83%
Food indulgent90%
Female cliche50%
trait snapshot:
rarely irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful
I'm not sure how I feel about this little look see into my brian but I guess that's what I get for looking! Tell me what you think if you know me... If you don't.... tell me what a wonderful person i seem like!

real stuff.. still funny

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida… and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.


LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.



PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?


DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.



It really is Monday...

I'm in a better mood than I thought I would be today, we signed the contract on our home today, and I've scheduled the first inspection/appraisal thingy - SWEET!!! We had a very long very active weekend that was still not long enough. J's had a very family active weekend, we met his cousin from California, had dinner with his mother aunt and several other cousins, and he talked to his father a few times. It made me realize how active our lives could be if we were more active in his family. I guess that's coming soon! We're both excited about this house thing. Looking forward to beginning to make it a home for us and The Girl.
She was in rare form this weekend. Very talkative and very friendly with J's family, normally she's a little more reserved with people, but I think she kinda knew we didn't have a lot of time with these people and she warmed up really quick to them. Jerry and I had our weekly deep conversation. And my father and uncles birthdays were Saturday so we spent the evening hanging out with them.
I miss my friends Te(male) and Ti(female), our husband and wife combo platter. They would be our absolute best-est couple friends but they live so far away (way way west in the subs) And They only come as a pair and Te's work schedule is so horrendous right now that C will be in college before we see them regularly. I'm on the phone with Te now as I blog and he has me on hold as he talks to wifey. I haven't told them we are buying the house in the city, Ti was hoping we would more very very far into no man's land with them - alas it is not to be.
They went to a catholic wedding this weekend, I've attended a few and we have decided that catholic weddings are really pilates classes in disguise. All the kneeling and standing for both you and the wedding party!This particular wedding party featured the whole wedding party in Chuck Taylors, men in black ones, ladies in pink ones - including the bride! How cool is that! come to think of it I need to due some planning for our shindig! Will return!

I still got jokes....

The wedding date was set and the groom’s three pals - a carpenter, an
electrician and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on
their wedding night.

The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle
or two.

The electrician decided to wire the bed - with alternating current, of

The dentist wouldn’t commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised
it would be memorable.

The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the grooms buddies
received the following note:


The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice “ I’d like to try the bet” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon,
and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man “what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?”

The man replied “I work for the IRS, I collect taxes.”
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.”

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

I got a case of the funnies today...

I really like this cartoon and the title is fitting.... Pretty funny stuff..

You know you were thinking it...

Courtesy of (tha truth on the web!)

Minutes after the white smoke hissed and what sounded like a celestial trumpet, it was revealed: the infallible pointiff was a member of the dark side!!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Amir Sulaiman

You ever see the poet that you wish you could hear everyday, and lose them? Amir came to St Louis years ago and helped the Atlanta Team beat our slam team pretty good, (they had it coming...) but I was so broke I could buy Amir's CD as he was the heart and fire of the slam team, Georgia ME was on the team a few other poets I can't place names on were on the team, but He was FIRE. So hot. My fiance was like... whoa. But his web site was not up, and we lost contact after a while and shortly tehre after I ws on the hunt. And now after his appearence on Def Jam, that I missed ironically, I am able to find him on line - (I'll be ordering that set of CD's ASAP) and hear his thoughts on message boards and be able to hear him. Amir Sulaiman is certianlly one of my absolute favorite poets. Word are weapons when he uses them and I am glad of it. See my previous post for more on Amir.

The New COINTELPRO (and the machine lives....)

As a poet i love to hear and see the power behind poetry and its performers. i watch Def poetry Jam and will continue to do so - beacuse it makes me think about my stand on so many issues, and see things I would not have seen emotionally if I had not. I found this at this link and thought I would share- I'm very interested in what people think of this.


Since debuting on Def Poetry Jam recently, Taliy'ah member `Amir Sulaiman has been heavily targeted by the Federal Government in an effort to intimidate and threaten him into abandoning his efforts to spread Islam and Social Justice through the medium of poetry and Hip Hop. Other Taliy'ah members were harassed who knew him and had family members harassed and intimidated at their places of employment by Federal Agents.Some Taliy'ah members agreed to come in and talk to the Federal investigators provided they bring an attorney with them. This was strongly discouraged by the Agents who claimed that the attorney would not allow them to ask the questions they wished to ask. In other words, their questions were designed to incriminate the individuals involved when no wrong doing was apparent in the least. Brother `Amir has gained a strong following of his music, poetry and writings wherever they are made manifest. In turn, the FBI has expressed deep concern saying "Is `Amir trying to spread Islam through Hip Hop?" Obviously THIS is their true concern, not whether or not he has done anything illegal; for if he had, they would not be asking questions, they would show the evidence of this and would have put out a warrant for his arrest. Clearly his only crime is that of spreading "Islam through Hip Hop."

Date: October 17th, 2004

My name is Amir Sulaiman; I am Muslim of African decent born in America. I am a 26 year old, poet, writer, teacher, husband and father. I taped as a featured poet on HBO Def Poetry Jam in February of 2004. My episode aired August 8th through August 14th. Within six days of my performance airing, four FBI agents came to my mother-in-law's home in San Francisco. Although I have lived in Atlanta, GA since 2001 and was only visiting my in-laws in California, these agents came looking for me there. They asked for me but my brother-in-law informed them that I was not there. They waited hours for my return. As they were waiting, they questioned my brother-in-law about my background and asked about my “anti-American” poetry.When I arrived, I told the agents I didn't want to talk to them without legal representation. In the last two months since then, they have called me on my cell phone. They have gone to the high school at which I taught and questioned the principal about me. Later they issued a grand jury subpoena for the names, addresses, phone numbers of all my students, the classes I taught, and my personal file. In addition, I learned at the Atlanta’s Hartsfiled International Airport’s ticket counter that my name has been added to the FBI’s “no-fly” list. The agents did not return my lawyers phone calls for nearly two months but continued to question my friends and associates. This experience made me wonder, what is freedom of speech? The reality is that speech has never been free. There have been many poets, writers, and speakers who blazed the trail upon which I walk whose free speech cost them their livelihood, their families and in some cases even their lives. Whether they were inspiring the powerless or chastising the powerful, people like Amiri Baraka, Soujourner Truth and Peter Tosh paid the cost for this “free” speech we talk about.In a new world, wrought nearly insane with paranoia, I, simply by being Muslim, have become a threat. In an old world, still stuck in the muck of racism, I, as a young Black man, am still a threat. This fear is further compounded by my refusal to remain silent in the face of such blatant hypocrisy, thievery, and tyranny. As a Muslim, as a man, as a member of the Human Family, I must speak the Truth with the loudest, most effective voice I can muster, especially when the virtue of justice has been so casually ignored. It is my sacred obligation. Islam, my way of life, does not allow me to remain still and quiet while a war is being waged not only against Islam and Muslims, but against the Human Family and Life itself. As the hadith of prophet Muhammad (pbuh&f) states, “Whoever among you sees wrongdoing should change it with his hand. If he is unable, then with his speech. If he is unable, then with his heart, and that is the weakest level of faith.” I was born and raised in America. My mother and father were born and raised in America and their parents were born and raised in America. I consider America my country. This is beyond the sentiments of patriotism or pride. It is a matter of fact. My people have deep roots and a long history in this land. They have invested their blood in the soil of the South, in the factories of the North and the frontiers of the West. Upon the backs of my foreparents, this nation was built. My family’s history in this country precedes the White House, the Pentagon even the Constitution. America is my country. Although I do not agree with the policies of the leaders of this nation, their fate and my fate are irresistibly tied together. The decisions of our leaders affect my three little daughters, my parents, my home. This is what impassions my voice and intensifies my warning. When I present poetry, it is not that I am speaking as Amir Sulaiman. Many people recognize my voice as their own. I have traveled the country presenting my poetry before audiences of many different racial, ethnic, religious, economic, and political backgrounds. They have encouraged me. They have implored me, even commanded me to continue using my poetry to broadcast their voices in ways and in places that they cannot. The people have found their sentiments in my heart and their voice in my words. This is a great blessing and an equally great responsibility. I must warn for fear that we, the people, be assigned to the same fate as our leaders who have created enemies then created wars in order to create revenue. The artist is to be a warner for society at large. Often the artist is like Cassandra, the character is Greek mythology who was blessed with the ability to see the future but cursed with the promise that no one would ever believe her. Jesus, Muhammad, Ghandi and Malik Shabazz (Malcolm X) were all warners. All of them had loved ones in a society being led down a road towards destruction. All of them also had enemies trying to extinguish their message. Many governments and empires have made the error of silencing the warner. To silence the warner, in a strategy to prevent what is being warned against, is to unplug the fire alarm hoping that will prevent the house from burning down. The vicious are only kindling a fire about their ankles. In fact, their habit of repression only fuels the brewing discontent and adds fire to the flames. They are dousing the fire with gasoline wondering why the flames only grow more intense and the hatred grows more severe. Both History and prophecy promise a day of awful reckoning for a society that has grown repressive, gluttonous and tyrannical. My poetry is a sacred obligation that does not require the approval of the FBI or any other government department or agency. I will not ask for my right to speak, as that right has been given to me by the Most High. I only ask for more voices to come forward in the name of justice for the sake of all of us and our families. In truth, coming forward in the name of justice is a sacred obligation upon us all. We must give hope to the hopeless souls, warning to the obstinate tyrants and try to contribute to a more livable life for the Human Family. PeaceAmir

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

happy day after....

Yesterday was my birthday. No body bought that I wanted to move it to September. It was worth a shot. It is a not so special event to me simply because both my sister and my mother have birthday's in the 5 days before mine. So by the time the birthday cake gets to me it's lost some of that special day glow. Seriously can you imagine, always having to eat at the very least four different birthday cakes before you even get to yours, not to mention my girlfriends (yes several) all have birthdays between April 3rd and April 17th. And honestly how many ways can you do cake before its just cake. Especially grocery store/Sams club/Costco cake- I mean they are limited in their options.
Besides yesterday I just didn't get the point. I really was content to just sit still. Not have to worry about planning the wedding or finding a house for us, the house for us, being the best mom, and the best wife, just able to be me for a minute. It was nice. My family scoffed at my requests for a gift that was really about me and not what they would like me to be. No clothing I wouldn't have bought for my self, no purses cause you think I should carry one. A book gift certificate, cause I miss reading. Perfume, cause I love the stuff. Tennis shoe GC cause I wear them everyday. Move Theatre GC cause I like movies, or better yet, a DVD or two, of romantic comedies, cause I hate to drag J to see them in the theatre, hate to drag anyone to see a movie, which is why I used to go alone. But nobody gets that either. I'm being redundant. I've said most of this in a previous post. I'm going to stop whining and being redundant. The word event looks repetitive doesn't it. I'm the black sheep, and I'm pretty okay with that. I like being the different one. Sue me

Thursday, April 07, 2005

NPS 2004 in st louis

The Article

St Louis hosted the NPS 2004 National Poetry Slam in Aug. By all means that event should have been everything St. Louis poets want the world to see when they think of poetry. But as a local poet, I hate to say it was not. My heart still hurts from this event and I still run out of words to say when asked about it. This is the post I will update as my thoughts clear on the subjet and as people e-mail me their thoughts and post their replys.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Harvard deserves their Capt'n Crunch

The world must be ending, as Cereal Killers have taken over Harvard university. I am serious. harvard students have been hoodwinked at their local food halls which are no longer offering yummy cereals like Fruity Pebbles and Lucky Charms. Now if I were paying $40,000 a year for school, at the very least I should be able to get a bowl of Corn Pops for breakfast. They have even started a group to lobby for the return of Fruit Loops and their other cereal favorites. A few years ago they stopped having some lobster filled clam bake, and they started a lobby to get it back. It hasn't worked, and I'm not sure how sucessful this cereal lobby will be but I for one am supporting, and in the meantime they can just run over to their local state college (avalible for a mere 7,000 a year) and pick up a bowl of Frosted Flakes. Long live General Mills!!

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Today is....

A realtively good day. I have done nothing out of the ordinary. Although my birthday is around the corner , coming up this Monday, I have come to the realization that I don't particualry like my birthday. It is entirely too close to my sister's and mother's birthdays and requires group celebration doing things I never like to do, which is my delima now. My mother wants to 'kick it' at some hotel and have drinks and stuff, with my sister her fiance, and their friends. Which was fine when it was what she wanted to do for her birthday, then it became an our birthday thing. I'm not thrilled with this possibility. I am not much of a drinker, and I don't club and party, I'm much more of a homebody. I don't want to be required to stay at this gathering for more than an hour. I don't want this to be my recognition of my birth.
In the mean time my mother has made 'not free' arrangements for babysitting, demanded that I get my hair done, and all kinds of things that were not in the realm of possiblity as my household is trying to save to purchase a house before the end of April, and get married in June. Things like beauty shop visits, babysitters and drinks at the club are not cost effective, and you can't say that to my mom with out if becoming your attempt to ruin her event. So I am at a quandry.
I come from a family of beautiful women, a bit stong and pig headed but beautiful people. I have always felt a bit out of place among them, not that I am not pretty, I am just the square peg amongst the rounds. Never really fitting in, always the strange one. And by the time they finish gifting me I always feel like they were trying to make me more like them. No matter what I say I come off as ungrateful and arrogant. Is it so wrong not to want trips to the beauty shop or clothes for your birthday? I'd much rather go horseback riding, get a gift certificate to a book store, a money order even, and not so much of the stuff people think you need. Soemtimes you need what you want.
It's offical I'm moving my birthday to September this year.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Happy National Poetry Month

It's April National poetry month, and I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to a bunch of poets that I love to read and hear perform.

Taalam Acey
Maya Angelou
Niki Giovani
Sonia Sanchez
Gwendolyn Brooks
Alexis De Veaux
Patricia Smith
Amiri Baraka
Margaret Walker
Eugene B. Redmond
Bethsheba Rem
Suheir Hammad
Sarah Jones
Stacyann Chin
J. Ivy
Taylor Mali
Black Ice
Jill Scott

Shirley LeFlore
Pablo Neruda

Kevin Powell
I should go on and on but I won't today

Thank you for your talent and the time and effort you put into poetry. I very much appreciate everything you pour into pages , into micorphones, into your poetry.