Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Today is....

A realtively good day. I have done nothing out of the ordinary. Although my birthday is around the corner , coming up this Monday, I have come to the realization that I don't particualry like my birthday. It is entirely too close to my sister's and mother's birthdays and requires group celebration doing things I never like to do, which is my delima now. My mother wants to 'kick it' at some hotel and have drinks and stuff, with my sister her fiance, and their friends. Which was fine when it was what she wanted to do for her birthday, then it became an our birthday thing. I'm not thrilled with this possibility. I am not much of a drinker, and I don't club and party, I'm much more of a homebody. I don't want to be required to stay at this gathering for more than an hour. I don't want this to be my recognition of my birth.
In the mean time my mother has made 'not free' arrangements for babysitting, demanded that I get my hair done, and all kinds of things that were not in the realm of possiblity as my household is trying to save to purchase a house before the end of April, and get married in June. Things like beauty shop visits, babysitters and drinks at the club are not cost effective, and you can't say that to my mom with out if becoming your attempt to ruin her event. So I am at a quandry.
I come from a family of beautiful women, a bit stong and pig headed but beautiful people. I have always felt a bit out of place among them, not that I am not pretty, I am just the square peg amongst the rounds. Never really fitting in, always the strange one. And by the time they finish gifting me I always feel like they were trying to make me more like them. No matter what I say I come off as ungrateful and arrogant. Is it so wrong not to want trips to the beauty shop or clothes for your birthday? I'd much rather go horseback riding, get a gift certificate to a book store, a money order even, and not so much of the stuff people think you need. Soemtimes you need what you want.
It's offical I'm moving my birthday to September this year.


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