as if I am not trying enough things....

I want to build this for my kids room.



















Anybody have any ideas on how pray tell I do that?

Its his party and he'll drink Sake if he wants to

Yes I know – THREE POSTS in one day… sue me

How can one weekend hold so many different extremes?
We threw a party for Adam, which ended up costing twice the budgeted amount, however, we also had forty five people show up. I was expecting twenty to thirty so so I guess if twice the people show up , you can’t really be surprised about twice the cost now can you?
My husband is a joy, he did everything I asked of him, every little thing. All weekend. I was up for a full cycle, cooking and getting the food together, shopping and shopping and shopping. If I never see the inside of a grocery store ever again. We were up until six am with guests   Okay I fell out from eleven to five but I got back up to close out the last few guests. Cammy was a princess. She, as usual wowed everybody. She ate an obscene amount of chocolate and cookies, and cake.
It was 45 of someone else’s closest friends. But they were truly great people, except for Gringo. He was an arse. But outside of that my house was clean, so clean if fact that people who come by weekly were stunned. Which I don’t know was a compliment or not, anyway, Jerry got the upstairs very, very presentable, moldings painted and halls and stairs (thanks Spoken) and I made THREE GIANT MEAT LASANGAS and a big ole vegetarian lasagna, Bread, German chocolate cake, and cupcakes  which ironically was just enough to feed everyone who wanted to eat. There was good music and good conversation, and this guys great kids you can’t ask for a better evening. Why does he get the shout out? Cause his kids brought me flowers, which was so sweet.
I am still a bit tired, but it went very well, my hubby and his best friend were happy and that was the ultimate goal. Jerry was nervous about throwing the party in the beginning but he is always glad we did after so, I’m glad it went as well as it did.
Cammy threw the tantrum of all tantrums on Sunday. It was the first time she has ever just screamed for the sake of not getting her way, and I am proud of us we didn’t bend, we went through it – me not so gracefully, but we did it.
And now we have to start planning this weeks, dinner menu, and this months next home renovation plan. We’ve gotten a lot of the painting done, and the molding and baseboards, we gotta a little ways to go, but I’d like to have our bedrooms moved up stairs by Thanksgiving. Wish us luck!  

Clash of the Diet

We are having a  bit of a clashing of parenting when it comes down to Cammy’s eating habits. Jerry is of the school of restriction, and I am of the school of moderation, you know, teach them the path to walk… etc. Neither of us was able to watch Cammy particularly well during the party and she had free reign of the chocolate fountain (I didn’t think she could reach up there, but alas she can) and friends gave her what ever she asked for. I gave her a little lasagna which she didn’t seem too thrilled with. And she ate a lot of fruit while I was making the platters to accompany the chocolate fountain. However I think she did have too much candy on Saturday, but how often does that amount of sugar happen for her? But it caused quite the conversation on Sunday after she got home and asked me for a Sprite and I said sure. (which to me means giving her like a fourth of a can.) Her dad responded like I was giving her a five pound bag of sugar and a spoon.
Okay maybe not that dramatic but hey, its my blog, I‘ll remember it how I wanna.  
She was a infant the last time we broke that thing out so, that would be never. We don’t trick or treat so we don’t have that mountain of candy to contend with in October. Her normal candy consumption consists of a dum dum pop. possibly up to three, if shes able to get over on me, and daddy, and grandmother.

And the nutritional value of a dum dum pop?

Serving size: 2 pops (13 grams)
Calories: 51
Total fat: 0 grams
Trans fat: 0 grams
Sodium:0
Total carbs: 13 grams
Sugars: 10 grams
Protein: 0 grams

That means if she gets over on us all and has three a day, she’s probably consumes all of 15 grams of sugar,  just over how much she gets from a single packet of instant oatmeal… (not including all the doctoring granny does to the oatmeal which normally does include an additional sprinkle of brown sugar)

Calories 130
Calories from Fat 25 
% Daily Value
Total Fat 2.5 g  4%
Saturated 0.5g    3%
Cholesterol 0mg 0%
Sodium 190mg    8%
Total Carbohydrate 27g   9%
Dietary Fiber 2g 8%
Soluble Fiber 1g
Sugars 12g
Protein 3g

I understand his concerns but I think the panic was out of place. Kids who drink soda and juice rather than water and non sweetened drinks, (pray tell what other  things can you give a kid that has no sugar in them? Honestly? Milk, she’s allergic and drinks soy mostly which has a lot of sugar in it I’ve found.) Kids who eat large amounts of candy daily and all these things have a higher chance of  becoming obese and they start eating habits that are hard to break. But I don’t believe we are instilling those types of bad eating habits. I am very aware of what we give her and what we offer her, daily, how often we give her sweet things, vs good snacks, and fruit. And we work hard as a family to instill good habits.  
She brushes as many times a day as you will let her. Normally three times. In the morning with granny, after work with me, and at bed time with daddy. She eats during the day, although granny does too many fast food things at lunch time, cause they are on the move so often, but she gets good dinner, and good fiber filled breakfast, normally she eats it well. She’s likes to eat veggies when I’m prepping for making dinner, will try anything if you let her, but she’s always been a majority meat eater. Like carrot sticks and spinach, and sometimes broccoli. She likes salad, and apples, and strawberries, and pineapple, but on her own terms. And I’m okay with that, I give her a lot of choices and hope she’s eating enough to be okay.
But I don’t believe I’ve set her on the road to obesity cause she’s allowed to have dum dum pops or her vitamins are gummy bears. She is fond of Gummies and lemon heads and is allowed to have them (one or the other) from the local Bissengers when we go to the mall.  I think our personal eating encourages variety and  trying new things. How many toddlers you know love pad tai? and Curry? She loves sushi. (we only give her the cooked fish pieces for now) She loves Chinese food, and hummus, she liked the Cuban food Jerry made, and the classic meals we make. She likes lamb and salmon salads. I think we are lucky in our kids eating, shoot she could be one who only eats cucumbers and grape soda. Or only red foods, (I know  a lady with a son like that) or just crunchy stuff, or only this food on Tuesday and Thursdays. Or what ever. Shes just a kid, and she eats pretty good I think.

In the words of Kat Williams
“She’s a child she’s supposed to like skittles.”  

Dear Ricki

Okay I’m looking for a few ways to put a little color in the blog so I have decided to do a little advice posting. I read Dear Abby and Dear Margo daily, and a lot of times find there answers bass akwards and always wish I could actually post what I would have said to the writer of the problem, so on Manic Mondays I think I will post a entry or two with my answer instead of Margo’s or Abby’s

Enjoy!  

DEAR Ricki: About a year ago, my husband started writing and publishing stories in a local newspaper. He never told me or showed me the stories. I heard about them from friends and then read them. The stories are about sexual behavior and fantasies involving other women. He uses the first person for the main character.
I do not feel comfortable with this and haven't wanted to have sex with him anymore. I asked him why he had to publish these stories. He said they were made up and he wouldn't write them anymore. I trusted him, but recently found that he was doing it again.
All his stories are about sex. Is he sick? I really can't have sex with him when I think of the stories. He thinks I am overreacting. He still wants sex with me. Should I take him to see a therapist?
--- TROUBLED
Troubled-
No your husband is not sick, he sounds creative, and a therapist probably isn’t necessary for him alone. Couples therapy may be beneficial, but not solely because he is writing these stories however.  
The question in this situation is why do you feel uncomfortable with your husbands sexual imagination? Is it that your friends have read it? Is it that he uses first person and you are not the female character?  
Instead of trying to figure out how to stop his imagination from working over drive, perhaps you should make that imagination work for you.
If you’ve read the stories, are there things mentioned that you two haven’t done together, and if so why not? Take the time to act out some of his stories with him. Perhaps his writing is the only outlet he can think of because he is not comfortable discussing his desires with you.
If it’s the publicity you are not keen on – ask him to use a pseudonym, and submit to a less local publication. Lots of people make a living writing romance, Eros, and erotic short stories, and there is nothing to be ashamed of in celebrating ones body and sexuality, as long as his inspiration is coming from home, (you didn’t mention that you thought he was cheating to find inspiration) I think you have very little to worry about, in fact you have a special opportunity to get inside your husbands sexual desires and you should use that to your advantage.

Happy reading!

Sooo sweet

the Daily Show 10 F-ing years: Even Steven

You have no idea what you missed...

Overheard in the office - thanks Benticore...

But That Wasn't Working, So I Switched to George
Suit #1: So I was banging Alice in her office, and she started crying. It reminded me of George and Meredith in Grey's Anatomy.Suit #2: Wow! That must have been a turnoff.Suit #1: No, I kept going. I just pretended I was banging Meredith.80 J StreetSacramento, CaliforniaOverheard by: Extra Character

Just another Manic Monday

It has been a emotional weekend for me.
Granted I may just be hormonal. But never the less. J and I have been seriously discussing our future plans. How we feel about the way our life has progressed up to this point as a couple and where we would like to be in the future.
Most regularly the topic of a second child has come up.
My family keeps calling asking if I am pregnant with number 2.
No. I am not.
J asked if I was trying to get pregnant.
No. I am not.  And I was kind of insulted he would think that. Glad he would ask if he was thinking it, but still. I barely know how we are going to do the things for Cammy I want to do, let alone how we can swing a second kid.  
J and I see saw back and forth on this topic daily. We both do want a second child, we both worry that we will be short changing the new child, Cammy and our relationship if we decide to take that step, at least if we take it now.
So timetables for when we want to do what and what a second child will mean for our marriage, and relationship separately as well as collectively are being drawn and rehashed and redrawn and reevaluated. Cause this time I don’t think I’ll have the luxury of grandma at home with the baby. So that means day care, and strangers with my kid, and by then Cammy will be in school. So we are talking tuition in addition to day care fees. Then there is home, and the house, and cars, and  work and jobs, and Jerry’s writing, and my art, and countless other things to consider.  
I tend to forget that J and I are newlyweds. We’ve only been married a year and we don’t get to do a lot of the cute newly married couple things. At least they don’t happen automatically we have to  make a concentrated effort to BE newlyweds. And in the midst of being parents we tend to forget to do those things. And another child means risking falling further down the list of priority.
We never had a reception, never had a house warming, never celebrated our union with our family and friends. We celebrate each other, which we did very well this weekend I might add, and now with the house renovation underway I worry that we won’t remember the small moments that hold us together.
Funny thing is, I never really wanted the wedding part, I was extremely happy with whisking away to marry  even though now, I wish I had done the wedding here just so J’s family could have been more involved. But there are no do-overs, and no guarantees.
So I am looking at this house renovation as a chance for us do some bonding together. There is something very comforting about working next to him, pouring over ideas and paint swatches. Building things, our life. I tend to feel confident in our ability to do things around the house because I guess I feel like with him I can do anything. So replacing moldings and sealing brick walls, feels like childs play. You give me a do it your self book and a few videos from DIY TV and I’m tellin you I would be alright installing the new bathroom. He makes me feel that confident that we can do it, I wish I instilled that kind of confidence in him.

Anywho…
Grey’s in Four days….

Meme monday - courtesey of Stlworking mom

1.If you make sweet tea, or your favorite style, do you use Luzianne, Lipton or something else?funny I actually found Teavana in Atlanta a few years ago on a poetry trip with my husband. Teavana is to tea drinkers what starbucks is to coffee drinkers, only its way cooler. I would love to drink more hot tea, Jasmine dragon phoenix pearls and emerald princess brews were my favorites there.  I just don’t do it often, no time to get to the shop to pick it up, for a sweetened ready made tea I drink Arizona. Jerry has this toy too I gave them out as Christmas presents a few years back.
2. What brand of toilet paper do you buy and is it the larger rolls or regular? Charmin and I do buy the double or larger rolls - dude cause nothing is more depressing than nine rolls of toilet paper disappearing faster than cake.
3. Which brand of bath soap do you use? Body wash or bar?oil of olay, body ribbons, and that in the shower lotion. 4. What cereal do you buy for yourself?I love berry berry kix which I cannot find in the greater St. Louis area anymore. So I am forced to exist on reduced sugar foot loops and frosted flakes, and crunch berries, but not crunch berries with extra colors or glow in the dark anything or any crap like that, just regular old crunch berries, cause I’m a grown up damn it .5. What brand of dishwasher detergent do you use? Liquid or tablets?I use Cascade, the tablets when I could care less about the budget. Liquid when I’m trying to appear cheap.

6. What’s your favorite fruit?I love strawberries. Especially in dark chocolate.7. Which brand of laundry detergent do you use?This is funny I was just talking to my friend about how I use Cheer just cause I like blue and that’s the color of the bottle, my husband likes Tide, I had to use Dreft for the kid for a while.  8. Do you like chocolate?Actually I didn’t like Chocolate or meat until I got pregnant and found the wonder that is dark chocolate.  9. Are you right or left-handed?I’m right handed, and so spurn the lefties as a kid I tried to teach my left handed cousin to be right handed. He can currently use either hand for most things. 10. Do you still write checks or use a debit card?People still write checks?

St. louis has a Taste wekkend?!?!

Okay there are few things I love more than Food, and Art, and food as art, and food and music and art.

On Sept 29th and 30th Taste of St. Louis is going down.

Yea!!!!!

I didn’t even know St. Louis had a Taste weekend. I always went or wanted to go  Chicago for the taste the weekend of the 4th. And while Nelly is a Major sponsor, I’m trying to let that bring my opinion of him up, not my opinion of the event down.

One day I’ll have to post my Nelly post.
Cause he totally lost me after that whole Tip Drill video. Totally. And I wonder how he can look at his momma and grandmother, and how they can be okay with something like that. Cause I would BEAT MY SONS ASS, fo real if he did some mess like that. Fo’real, fo’real. If you can’t make a living and respect me and yourself and your community and you daughter (cause he has one) then you need a new job.
Nelly, is a decent guy. I know people who know him, his children, his children’s mothers, his family. They are good people. But being a good person does not excuse you from your responsibility as an role model and presence in the media of Black America, whether that weight is fair or not, it is a part of his role, and his desire to be a celebrity. And running a credit card down a woman’s ass in a music video is disgusting. And a man who would think that is okay for mass media presentation would not be welcome to date my daughter.    

Any who  Let me stop before I will have posted that Nelly post after all.

Go to the taste, check out the sight. I’ll be there.

Yea!!!!!

I’m bringing sexy back….

What is for you cannot be un-for you
                    -friend of Chookooloonks

Hi all. Its been a lil while since I really posted – posted. And unfortunately now is not gonna be the time I really get my post on. And I’ve missed ya’ll. Things have been moving along at a rather brisk pace. Working on the house. Working on myself, working on the marriage.
Working on watchin ALL SIX DISCS of Grey’s anatomy.
Yeah baby, life is truckin along.
My kid is talking up a regular storm.  Whole sentences and statements. Repeating everything. I am learning to be very mindful of not only what I say around Cam, but what other people say around her.
I could mention how wonderful my husband is but I can’t have you ladies plotting on stealing my man, he’s that good.  
We had to tell a friend that they had to totally clean up the language. She was just too much all the time, and that is just not gonna work for the shortie.
Making plans, following through.
What’s up with you guys? I’ve been reading you all through google reader, and the only down side to using it is that I can’t comment from that screen. So I tend to leave fewer comments – but know that I am there and I am rooting for you!
Anybody hot under the collar about that whole target selling bra type shirts for six year olds?
How about the newly documented pressures of 1st grade? Are we parents doing too much pushing the schools too hard?
I’m on the waiting list for day care, and while I never planned on being one of those parents, I can’t really say that I’m surprised that I am one of those parents.

And while I am screaming for better images for my daughter I am jamming out to Justin Timberlake. Right, no one will take me seriously.

Derrty baaaaaaby… I’ll let you spank me if I misbehaaaaaave…..

I love that song.

Cause Somethings are even better soft

Okay I just heard the new Janet single So Excited..

And I’d just like to say, Janet’s in the BUILDING!!!

What!

Now if she would just make sure the video isn’t all whack like Call on me was, (and no I'm not hating cause nelly was in it, it was just not cute.) we might be making a comeback for ya!

I was a massive Janet fan in middle and highschool, probably sinceI was like ten or twelve.
and While I'm not all about every magazine and every single (althoguh I do still like to get the imports) i do enjoy her work, when its not whack. And she can get so artsy it can get whack real quick. but when shes on, she can shut Britney, beyonce and the rest of them right on down.

And I think I like he ran JD together, she hasn't been this happy, shoot, ever. And thats a good thing.

come on Janet- bring it.

touching base

I’m not sure how I feel about the possible switch to word press. I like to change too much too often to be restricted to templates. Shoot if you got photoshop you should use it right? (I’m working on a new blog for me and Jerry and a friend now) so for now – I think I’ll be dual posting at both the wordpress and here. Although that may be a tad bit annoying. It must be done.
At least while I figure out exactly what I want to do for a blog, I’m thinking about using my http://blaquepen.com domain as a base for a full wordpress blog, and not use the one they host. I’m still researching. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Still workin on the house. I need a lamp so I can work after dark. and more time. There is never enough time.

Copa-  I’m with you man, if you need to veg out tonight and watch some greys with us, come on by,
Sarah- you totally rock, your mommyness is inspiring
13 – girl we gon get this party started right
Aeshema/Benticore – I love you.

Episodes 6 thru 10

Whew. It has been a long week, and I didn’t get everything I wanted to get done, done. Which sucks.
Vacation that didn’t exactly rejuvenate. But just gave me more goals.
Which was a mixed sucking.
I did A LOT of painting. And wood cutting, and spent too much on the painting and wood cutting but hey- gotta do, right?

Lucky me.

But I did spend the week with my kid, which was a mixed blessing. She thought I was staying home for good, she just couldn’t grasp the whole vacation idea, so she threw a monster fit this morning when I left for work.
However I did get a lot of work done. Even if it wasn’t everything I wanted it to be. We got Cammy’s room completely painted, and the molding cut (I just have to attach that one last piece.) her play room is painted, just gotta finish the base boards, and do the accents. I found chalk board paint and magnetic paint. So I got the stuff to make the frames for the walls. Jerry got a lot done as far as the hall way, we did get the whole plaster face removed from the brick wall, and most of the paint removed from the base boards, the rest of that happens tonight cause I have to return that tool tomorrow.
Spent the remaining portion of last night watching Grey Anatomy reruns. A friend go the DVD a bit early and brought us a disk. So we watched all five episodes.

Sweet.

Back to Cammy. We got to do a lot of learning play. We did a lot of flash cards, and numbers and letter work. She is a pro at brushing her teeth, she wants to do it like a zillion times a day, I let her at least three of four times. She’s totally talking way more than before. Asking a ton of questions about everything.
We played at the garden and the park. I think we are gonna make our way to the butterfly house and carousel in the near future. And possibly back to the science center this week.  

Pictures of the transformation of the house coming soon.

Tomorrow is Grey Day. The Season two DVD release. I can’t hardly wait to have my OWN copy in my grubby little hands so I can veg out and watch all the extra features and all the extras and all the episodes I didn’t catch the first time around, I’ve already seen two I hadn’t seen before.

i've changed because remembering is not enough

It was one of those days where you can measure life in before and after it.
I was just stepping into womanhood before.
I met Jerry after. Had Cammy after.
Life was more complicated before.
After it is easy to cherish every day. Love every moment.
Let down walls, respect people.
Forget stereotypes.
Listen.
Pray.

Trying out a new thing - I fixed it

a new blog - thinking about it.

the address is http://raquita.wordpress.com/

it is called WOBL-in training.

i thought that was fitting.

Love Thursday

the water is ewww....
Originally uploaded by raquita.

Mommy and the cute one this love thursday. Doesn't happen ofter I'm on that side of the camera so enjoy it people.

still running around....

making my vacation count. I'm Bobette vila up in here in the mean time more of my fearless wonderchild...

vacation is a trick statement

imgp7237_edited
Originally uploaded by raquita.

Running around too willy nilly right now - will post soon! Untill then here is my wonder child!

One and one equals

wonder twins
Originally uploaded by raquita.

Friends.

I got a chance to hang with Jaelithe and her wonderful family at the festival we always seem to run into each other at. And what a wonderful family they have.. and they were so together.. once I blog how totally out of it we were you will understand why I was so in awe of a mom who remembers the diaper bad. yeah it was that kind of day.

Issac is a joy to be around. they kind of yin and yang, Cammy is fearless, as J pointed out but issac is more calm, and sometimes calm would be nice. And and a family unit they were jsut the cutiest. Did I mention her husbands shirt was a few levels of awesome.

but Jaelithe is the kind of mom i always aim to be. Thoughtful and so aware of him. her are a few pictures until I can actually blog my long arsed day.

umm. Why can' t you pick your family? selective genetics, is soemthing we should probably invest in.... will that resolve stupid?

Yesterday, wasn’t the best day.

I’m not really prone to grudges, and tit for tat exchanges. But sometimes I find myself on the opposite side of the do unto others as you would have them do unto you. You know doing unto others as they have done unto me.
And I hate that. I really do.
For example. I have a relative who unless he needs you – you can’t find him. Need him to wait for a delivery, or help move something, select any minor request and insert here -  he’s ghost like Patrick Swayze. But let him need gas money or a place to crash or anything at all and you couldn’t shake him with with an earthquake.
Then there is the relative who has no respect for people, or a persons things. I don’t like leaving him alone in my house cause I never know what he’s gonna “borrow” until I see it at his house.
The first relative I simple had to say, hey- I don’t have it for ya.
The second one I had to curse the hell out.
And I hate that.
But he royally pissed me off.
And he had it coming.

On top of that. My dad is sad.
And that sucks kinda royal. I hate for my dad to be upset. He doesn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve the way he was treated (totally separate than the two knuckle heads listed above) and even if things work out I don’t know that I would want it to.

And I have to buy that paint sprayer after all. E-1 you still down on that?  

But its Friday, the first day of my vacation (which starts at 5 p.m. today) and that totally rocks.

Gotta find the silver lining, hold on to it and use it as jump rope.