Dancin' machine....
Hey Groupies…
I am getting off of such heavy subjects and going to something that brings me much joy.
Dance.
I don’t do it often, much to my dismay, although going out clubbing is not what I had in mind. I think I am going to look into dance lessons. There is a beauty behind ballroom and couples structured dancing that is rarely seen in todays modern world. When done well it is truly one of the most beautiful things you can see, a man and a woman moving together gracefully, in time, to a rhythm internally and externally.
Truly, truly beautiful. Seriously.
There is this studio called Convergence Dance I think I may look into and see what I think. I guess it bears mentioning that I love – love watching the TV show So You Think You Can Dance, not only for the absolute characters in the first shows who is grand reality tv, style totally embarrass themselves moving with music accompanying them, cause I refuse to call what they do dancing or want to imply that they had any rhythm at all while trying to. But mostly I watch it because I love the art of dancing, and my child has picked up that bug and does her wonderful toddler dancing any time there is any music on at all, and some of the few times I can get her to sit still is when Donyelle Jones takes the dance floor.
She is my pick win this addition of SYTYCD, and I also think the young swing dancer she is partnered with, Benji TOTALLY has the hots for her.. shoot Jerry has the hots for her so I can’t be mad at the little guy. I like her because she is a real black woman. Thicker than a stick, womanly, probably wears a size 10, has these great arms, she is just wonderful, and she’s silly, and seems to have a good heart. Not to mention she is extremely talented. We watch it every time it comes on – either right when it comes on or afterwards - eventually - I tivo everything I like. So Good luck Donyelle! We are rooting for you!
Any who moving on.
Thanks for the thoughts on Rocky, and the little conversation on the Question of the day. To clarify per one person who sent me an e-mail – I don’t hate that my brother is gay, I hate that he thinks his family isn’t supportive. My personal thoughts on GLBT is that I don’t. The single most important property of Christianity to me, Judge not lest ye be judged, and I firmly believe that it not my place, my life is between me an my creator, and your life is between you and yours. I try not to pass judgments on people – I do know that I am not GLBT, and while it is flattering when I am approached, and I think women are marvelous wonderful creatures, and there are women whom I love deeply who are not related to me, I have no desire to get some chick sprung. As I mentioned the other day, Women are lucky I don’t date women. P.S. I don’t believe my brother reads this blog, if he does I would be truly, truly surprised. Seriously. Shoot, mom my gets by here every once in a while, and my aunt used to read it regularly but now she doesn’t. TiTo is the only person I know reads it, however sporadically, who I knew before I started the blog.
My sisters wedding is creeping up on me. I am the Matron of honor, that kinda makes me feel like that whole spinster thing on my wedding certificate was accurate. Matron makes me sound so old and homely. I have to go be fitted for my dress, pay for the dress then ultimately wear the dress, can you tell I’m not excited about that. I’m not into formal wear. My sister has over the course of our relationship become one of my best friends. I hold a lot of respect for her.
And I wonder what you do when you know a decision will jeopardize that? Before your little minds start flipping out, not the marriage. I’m all for the marriage.
She is becoming a Stepmother in the process, and my biggest fear for her is that she will become the evil step mother, that she won’t treat those kids like they are hers, and that they, as a couple, will short change them – whether it happens intentionally or unintentionally. Kids are always my first focus when looking at a situation. Even before my sister. Which is saying a lot for me. Because I put family before anything – but these kids will be my family once she says I do, and I plan to love them as if my sister had given birth to them, I just pray that she treats them as if she had given birth to them. The actual situation is deeper than a little bit, but not original in todays age of divorce and broken families and that makes me sad for a lot of kids not just the ones in my family, but as an adult kid of divorce I know how they feel and I wish I could make it better, but I’m just the aunt in this situation. It is straining our relationship as it is, I can hear it crackling between us every time she calls to talk about some detail of the wedding. Once its brought up she ends the conversation. And its funny I was totally surprised that we were so far away on this thing. We see eye to eye on so many basic family issues. I would have thought this was a basic family issue.
Any who- I need to get back to work. And get ready for lunch… pizza with the hubby…
I am getting off of such heavy subjects and going to something that brings me much joy.
Dance.
I don’t do it often, much to my dismay, although going out clubbing is not what I had in mind. I think I am going to look into dance lessons. There is a beauty behind ballroom and couples structured dancing that is rarely seen in todays modern world. When done well it is truly one of the most beautiful things you can see, a man and a woman moving together gracefully, in time, to a rhythm internally and externally.
Truly, truly beautiful. Seriously.
There is this studio called Convergence Dance I think I may look into and see what I think. I guess it bears mentioning that I love – love watching the TV show So You Think You Can Dance, not only for the absolute characters in the first shows who is grand reality tv, style totally embarrass themselves moving with music accompanying them, cause I refuse to call what they do dancing or want to imply that they had any rhythm at all while trying to. But mostly I watch it because I love the art of dancing, and my child has picked up that bug and does her wonderful toddler dancing any time there is any music on at all, and some of the few times I can get her to sit still is when Donyelle Jones takes the dance floor.
She is my pick win this addition of SYTYCD, and I also think the young swing dancer she is partnered with, Benji TOTALLY has the hots for her.. shoot Jerry has the hots for her so I can’t be mad at the little guy. I like her because she is a real black woman. Thicker than a stick, womanly, probably wears a size 10, has these great arms, she is just wonderful, and she’s silly, and seems to have a good heart. Not to mention she is extremely talented. We watch it every time it comes on – either right when it comes on or afterwards - eventually - I tivo everything I like. So Good luck Donyelle! We are rooting for you!
Any who moving on.
Thanks for the thoughts on Rocky, and the little conversation on the Question of the day. To clarify per one person who sent me an e-mail – I don’t hate that my brother is gay, I hate that he thinks his family isn’t supportive. My personal thoughts on GLBT is that I don’t. The single most important property of Christianity to me, Judge not lest ye be judged, and I firmly believe that it not my place, my life is between me an my creator, and your life is between you and yours. I try not to pass judgments on people – I do know that I am not GLBT, and while it is flattering when I am approached, and I think women are marvelous wonderful creatures, and there are women whom I love deeply who are not related to me, I have no desire to get some chick sprung. As I mentioned the other day, Women are lucky I don’t date women. P.S. I don’t believe my brother reads this blog, if he does I would be truly, truly surprised. Seriously. Shoot, mom my gets by here every once in a while, and my aunt used to read it regularly but now she doesn’t. TiTo is the only person I know reads it, however sporadically, who I knew before I started the blog.
My sisters wedding is creeping up on me. I am the Matron of honor, that kinda makes me feel like that whole spinster thing on my wedding certificate was accurate. Matron makes me sound so old and homely. I have to go be fitted for my dress, pay for the dress then ultimately wear the dress, can you tell I’m not excited about that. I’m not into formal wear. My sister has over the course of our relationship become one of my best friends. I hold a lot of respect for her.
And I wonder what you do when you know a decision will jeopardize that? Before your little minds start flipping out, not the marriage. I’m all for the marriage.
She is becoming a Stepmother in the process, and my biggest fear for her is that she will become the evil step mother, that she won’t treat those kids like they are hers, and that they, as a couple, will short change them – whether it happens intentionally or unintentionally. Kids are always my first focus when looking at a situation. Even before my sister. Which is saying a lot for me. Because I put family before anything – but these kids will be my family once she says I do, and I plan to love them as if my sister had given birth to them, I just pray that she treats them as if she had given birth to them. The actual situation is deeper than a little bit, but not original in todays age of divorce and broken families and that makes me sad for a lot of kids not just the ones in my family, but as an adult kid of divorce I know how they feel and I wish I could make it better, but I’m just the aunt in this situation. It is straining our relationship as it is, I can hear it crackling between us every time she calls to talk about some detail of the wedding. Once its brought up she ends the conversation. And its funny I was totally surprised that we were so far away on this thing. We see eye to eye on so many basic family issues. I would have thought this was a basic family issue.
Any who- I need to get back to work. And get ready for lunch… pizza with the hubby…
posted by Raquita at 7/07/2006 12:07:00 PM
7 Comments:
I was wondering around and found your blog. I have a questions for you. I have been married and a stepmother for 3 years now. I was in their lives since the children were 4 (girl) and 2 (boy). I feel I am very strict, but loving to the kids. I don't begrudge the child support, I don't begrudge the time (every other weekend). However, now, three years later, I find myself having problems.
You mentioned that from the day your sister says her vows you will love her new children like they were from her womb. How? My family certainly didn't treat my kids this way. My kids are not excluded, but they certainly aren't included, either.
I personally beleive that the choice when it comes to step families dealing with merging with samll children always lies with the adult. How can I love those kids like they were my sisters? because they are. When she chooses to marry a man with kids, just like I love her husband like a brother I love his children the way I would love my brothers kids. I choose to. Inclusion is what a family is in my opinion. No family is perfect and if you've read my blog for any length of time you know mine is certinaly not. But Family is a choice as much as it is coincidence. My sister does all the base things great, cause they live in a seperate state, she sends teh gifts on birthdays and makes sure extras are provided for. She does all the things moms do when their kids are far away, but I want to make sure she does what moms do from the inside. As a mom, and someone who dated a man with kids before I married my husband and activly chose not to marry him, partly because I was not ready to be a step mom and I didn't want to do a disservice to those kids. I beleive that any person male or female who chooses to enter into a relationship with a person with children needs to be ready to accept those children as if they were their own and understand the role their mate needs them to play in the parenting of those kids. the reason I make that choice is that those kids are a peice of that family - broken or not, and they need people to love them despite the choices thier parents make - their parents, their spouses, their families and thier spouses families have that resposiblity and I choose to accept it. I hope your situation gets better, and if you want to talk more - send me an e-mail at Raquita at gmail dot com.
Hi honey. Its me. Love the blog entry today. I want you to know that as usual, I am feelin' you more than you know. I think that "the diva" as I love to refer to your sister as is a great lady. She's got her stuff together, at least, if she doesn't, she surely seems like it. I think the step monster thing is always a bit of an enigma because it is a possibility. I think your concerns about her actions are valid but I think you should consider that perhaps you'll have to hold your breath and wait and see. I think she is more capable than you think. Give it time. It can't be easy loving someone's child that is not your own. I say just wait and see.
The matron of honor thing, been there and done that. Kind of funny really cause' my great friend Joy (we go back over 20 years) got married last year in January and I was her Matron of Honor. Remember Quita it's just Matron now because your Mrs. Henderson, not cause your old. Hell, I'm older than you are! Don't feel spinter like. That's silly! It is funny though how a word can make you feel something that otherwise you wouldn't entertain. Don't sweat the wedding stuff. Your sister is sooooooo stressed out already. Be as supportive as possible. She needs it, believe me. As a veteran, (will be seven years this year, thank you!) the one thing that I needed and never received during my wedding plans, was support. Whatever she needs, DO IT! She's thank you.....maybe not right away, but she'll remember that and cherish that. Love you dude.
Oh by the way, the picture of Jerry on your entry from yesterday...he looks freaking hot! I forgot how cute Jerry is! SWEET!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
YOU SAID:
I have no desire to get some chick sprung.
I'M SAYING:
Trust me you don't...they NEVER stop calling!
LOL---You know I had to make you laugh and to get your attention.
Very deep blog today. Don't sweat the wedding details. As far as your sister being a step mom, let her know how you feel and let her know that you support her no matter what.
Your sister needs you there and I know you will be! As long as she knows that she has a sister that she can call on, things will be just fine!
We took dance lessons once....we did not do so good!! hehe but it was fun to discover we had no rhythem together!!
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