Wednesday, June 21, 2006

continued ramblings from yesterday

Moving back to the actual weekend,
Cammy’s birthday went well, spent too much on food, but that was it, made a few adjustments to compensate (sorry balloons- you gotta go) and we got through it okay. She got a few things I really wanted her to have, and we are gonna go get the rest. Ever notice how you could have not had the party and just bought the things you wanted you kid to have and come out just the same? Next year.
Tito, my dear wonderful friends, came by I was soo excited that they were there, then the left all early LOSERS!!!!!! I thought we were gonna have a drink and hang out, then – no, they were like no dice, and we can’t hang with you till like two weeks from next wed, cause we got cooler more fun people coming to hang with us. Okay that’s not what they said. But in stubborn I miss my friends translation that’s exactly how it came out! But I miss them and I never see them anymore. So I’ll say it again cause its my blog LOSER Tito!!! LOSER Tito!! I call them Tito like it’s a 70’s R&B band, like I expect them to be seen in Gold polyester suits with butterfly collars and platforms. That would be totally cool though.
Fathers day for Jerry was less than stellar. He was in a funk, and I know why- there was simply nothing I could do about it. Nothing worse than feeling powerless to help the people you love. I mentioned his grill right? I’m excited about what he’s gonna do with that thing…

Miles and miles of miles.
My car – which I bought in March with 52xxx miles now had roughly 62xxx miles on it, we clearly need a second car, and Spoken has got to get into her own car, like yesterday, we put an extra sixty mile a day on the car picking her up and taking her to work. That’s like A LOT. Like three hundred EXTRA miles a week, that’s over a tank of gas a week at three dollars a gallon, that’s just too much. I’m going to run into the same issues we had with the old car, it was a 2002 and we traded it in with 98,000 miles on it. And while driving Spoken is an issue, its not our only car centered issue, we are seriously talking every other day about needing a second car. We do, but its like number twelve on a list of 87 things we need to take care of. So we’ll see how that goes. But honestly with the money we would save on gas we could honestly get a car and insurance and minimize our monthly cost increase to like under two hundred bucks a month. Our commute is a bytch and it would be nice to be able to do something’s with out having to wait and see if the hubby is doing something, or having to pick him up or he pick me up. If my life wasn’t so good, I’d be really ticked about this whole car thing.

Progress.. is progress, even if its on thin ice..
My friend J, who I haven’t mentioned a lot lately, is treading thin – albeit dangerous ice in his life, and I am seriously concerned. He moved out from his girlfriends house, (yeah!!!) to move back in with his ex (booooo!!), he is a recovering alcoholic who has had a relapse recently and while trying to come out of that has taken to gambling at the local casino. He told me years ago there were reasons why he didn’t go gamble, apparently he has forgotten them, cause he’s been going, and while he’s not losing a lot of money right now, I know its just one turn card, or one fourth street (poker terms people) before he’s calling me saying how he lost his whole paycheck. Its happened before. And of all the people having issues in my life right now I am most worried about him.
My brother and his boyfriend have gotten a apartment, so they will be off my couch like SOON. They are doing stooped stuff already, and my biggest fear is they will be back in three months. They still don’t have a car, but my brothers job is close enough that I don’t have to worry about that with him, and his boyfriend is not my concern as far as car needs are concerned.  So if I could get him to minimize the drama he could be off in the right direction.  Now Spoken hasn’t made any concrete strides to get her car situation resolved, or the apartment situation resolved. She refuses to do a few things I think will make it easier to get a car.
  1. she refuses to get a Missouri drivers license. Why is this an issue? Well she is holding on to this whole “I’m from Vegas,” thing when really she’s not. You were born here and have been back here countless times since moving to Vegas as a preteen, no you lived in Vegas for a while but you are from Missouri, get over it. And not having a Missouri license makes loan people nervous. They don’t believe you will be here. And I can understand that. So if you really want a car – what do you do? Exactly.  Her reasoning? “I just like having a Vegas license.” Oookaaaay.  

  2. Wake up. Spoken lives like a vampire. Up all night and sleeps all day, however banks don’t. So when I call her at noon (which is a pet peeve on mine – but that’s another post) and she’s like made no calls, done nothing, she was sleep on her desk at work. I want to reach through the phone and strangle her. I want her to be calling and making moves when these businesses open until you start at your gig. But she’s a night owl, Never sleeps at night so its hard to stay up during the day, I know that. I understand even, but its not helping get her into her own space, and rocking her own ride.  
I just got a call from my brother saying the apartment fell through. That is so not what I wanted for my anniversary.  If they don’t just go find a little studio I’m gonna kill them. But not in the house, casue I don’t wanna have to clean it up.
The funny thing about all of this is that I’m not upset, I’m not worried about Spoken and I not being friends when this ‘living together’ section of our friendship is over. She really is one of my best friends, and despite being annoyingly accommodating, and being able to put up with me and not running off, I love her. She could quit with the reading of the mind thing. Or at least saying it out loud that she did it. Maybe not. Anywho, Shes my friend and that’s that. J, the friend not the husband, I have to literally just walk away, because I am truly afraid for him. I can’t stop him from making these mistakes I just don’t think I can handle walking with him while he does it.  My brother is my brother and what else can I say about his situation. He’ll get it together cause he doesn’t want to be a burden.  But an extra three grown ups for two months and almost one respectively – gets heavy. I just have to worry about my situation a bit more forwardly. Jerry and I are both a bit more testy lately. Our finances are stretched to the limit, cause extra gas and food and etc is extra gas, food and etc. but most of all I just want my regular life back. My coworker Kelley says this was my life before they moved in - helping every body. I say I don’t mind helping everybody but I need a break. And as nice as getting away sounds, I really just want to stay home.
But all of this reminds me how blessed I really am. I have very little room to complain. God is awesome, and my life is awesome, only thing that could make it better is expanding our family – later -  and possibly winning the powerball lottery. Both would be nice.


Blogger Jaelithe said...

It sounds to me like you are an excellent friend.

11:20 PM  
Anonymous chelle said...

I am glad the birthday party went well!!!

Your life is so crazy, yet you are up-beat and ready to tackle anything!

3:54 PM  
Blogger Marriage-101 said...

Sorry this is in reverse - I commented on the more recent ones already, but I feel the need to reiterate what a wonderful friend, sister, wife, mom etc you seem to be. I think people are attracted to the goodness in you. Life is a challenge, but you handle it so well!

2:27 PM  

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