Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Wondering what the hell...

I am doing right now - I am sitting at the councilor office at the school I have decided to at least attempt taking a class at. I am nervous as a motor skooter. I haven't sat in a class of any type since 2000. At the very earilest.... I've sat here looking at these three sentences for at least fifteen minutes. I can't not do something though. I have to move forward and to do that I gotta take at least one step. But what if this is the wrong thing for me to do? What if I'm just flying on a whim - what if I am no better prepared to be a student now than I was at 19? 20? and how am I supposed to fix the F-d up grades I got and possibly graduate? If I don't how will I expect my child to look at me? How can I ask her to believe me when I say - she has to go to college? That its the new highschool and she only has the choice of school after she gets her bachelors? How can I give her every opportuinty I can if I'm trying to get these opportunities for myself? I don't know anything except I wish there were easy answers to these questions, and I know there isn't. I know I have to move. My feet feel so heavy, clumsy and I wish I could make them light and sure. I wish I could make them light and sure.

4 Comments:

Blogger CousinSarah said...

Baby you are already in life AND you have a fam...so if you are waiting for it to be ther right time...there will always be things that make you feel like this aint the time. You are doing the right thing...you are takin one step in the right direction. Just keep puttin your foot forward baby...its hard but that is what women do.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Copasetic Soul said...

its gonna be aight sis...we all hop off the path of life during to find ourselves. whats really important is gettting BACK on the path. personally, you havent done bad to me!

now remember that when i post about
going back to school later this year!

1:46 AM  
Blogger G said...

I am going to be doing the same thing come summer. Its just a matter of prayer really. If you feel God is telling you this is the path then there is nothing you and He cannot do together. :)

10:46 AM  
Blogger Daimushi said...

I agree, one foot forward is the way to go. If I would have looked up, I would have never made the top of Fuji. Besides, how do you think I made it through college? Keep swinging girl, and aim for the fences. I know you'll make it, because you are top amongst the brightest, strongest and most capable people I have ever meet, in a lifetime blessed with amazing people. Your feet are light and sure, if you don't trust yourself, trust me.

11:39 AM  

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