Friday, June 10, 2005

When Your White Boy Goes Missing

Tag team back again

Adam is gone – see link to My White Boy in Japan – and I have begun to see the withdrawal effects on my fiancée. Just for a little background information. My fiancée has a group of friends who are tighter than your high school prom dress on your ten year reunion body. They call them selves the Pantheon, what is that you say? Via Merriam-Webster Online it is:

Main Entry: pan·the·on
Pronunciation: 'pan(t)-thE-"än, -&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English Panteon, a temple at Rome, from Latin Pantheon, from Greek pantheion temple of all the gods, from neuter of pantheios of all gods, from pan- + theos god
1 : the gods of a people; especially : the officially recognized gods

2 : a group of illustrious persons

Fitting? Number 2 maybe – sure… Number 1? Not really but they are a tight knit group, the kind of friends I wish for Cam, the kind there for the long haul. And one of the guys Adam got a job overseas and left for Japan on Wednesday . Adam, you see, is Jerry’s very best friend. The one I saw most often. If Adam didn’t come over at least twice during the week (on a light week) and both Saturday and Sunday – I was concerned.
“J? Is Adam okay – have you talked to him?”
“Yeah, he’s at his moms house today – he’ll probably be by tomorrow.”
“As long as he’s okay.”
“He’s cool.”
Adam is the guy I call when I need Jerry to go somewhere.
“Adam why don’t you guys go get coffee?”
“Need a minute Quita?”
“Yeah, Just need to breathe.”
“Hey J- lets go grab a iced mocha!”
Okay, so that particular scenario only happened like, once, but its always nice to have the option to ship you man off with his boy and know the shenanigans that are about to transpire will not put you relationship at jeopardy. Adam is my friend too. I tease Adam and tell him he was the third part of our relationship - he just never got any of the sex. He was less than thrilled to miss out on the sex. The point was he is our friend. And how many girls can say that about their mans best friend? A great guy and literally the yin to Jerry’s yang. So what happens when your yang moves half way – or rather completely to the other side of the world?
He wonders out loud if Adam is alright –“I wonder if he’s landed yet?” “I hope he’s waking up on time.” “Its about 11 am there now right?”
I knowing my role answer “He’s probably still flying now sweetie..” “he’ll be fine after a few days to fight the jet lag..” “yeah its about 11 am”
And now who will fill the massive void in my baby’s life? Who will stop by just to say what’s up? Who will cuddle my kid and teach her Japanese? Who will sort through all the madness my baby’s mind pours out as ideas and say “Ohh I see and you know what you could do next…” he has other friends but none quite like Adam. Collin* is cool and has been coming out of the wood work, Tambora – the cool one who is growing attractive in his older age works such odd hours we never know when he’s gonna pop up. Then there is Justin – he’s just the coolest guy and if he wasn’t one of Jerry’s best friends I’d count him among mine- he has such a loyal spirit and can be such a devoted friend- but a video game junkie - althoguh we share a love for 2-D fighter (highughkick!!) . And then there are those ust on the outskirts of being Pantheon – lesser gods if you will, Kevin, my chocolate guy (he really sells chocolate) Ahmed (who may be one pitch from a strike out in general) Alvin*– Collin’ brother in law, and Ian (who also may be on a full count since his altercation with Ahmed) Ed, cool straight male hair dresser. I know like one in a million. Joel - in New York- doesn't count casue he's well in New York.
So I’ve been wondering who I will see more of. Collin comes with wife Reba*- whom I have so very little in common with – I’m never sure how that should go. I’m hoping we can hang a little more. Ed has new Girlfriend, who is cool and graduating next week! (Congrats) and they are still in that new love - can't breathe if I can't see her touch her must get contact refill faze. Alvin is such a cool free spirit - he's going to Alaska in a few months. As well as with My cousins who have hubbys, we’ll call them Rachel and Annette. We all about the same age and we should at least try to see if we enjoy time with them and their spouses.
Also hoping Jerry will jump into his writing more, find a less sedentary hobby than the ones he has now, perhaps gets more enthused about golf- he liked hitting the ball, that’s what he said. But I post all of this to say as much as I worry about Adam in a new country – I worry about Jerry in a new place here. He misses his friend. The chocolate Lucky Charms left over in the cupboard just remind him that he is not here, and there is nothing I can do to fix that. Except remember that he is going to be more lonely for a little bit and try and be there.

Adam -call your boy when you read this – I don’t care what time it is – time difference means JACK SHIT. Love ya – enjoy that sushi for me!


Anonymous Copasetic Soul said...

wow, thats a close friendship... thats some shyt i want!! where is my picture with Marc Marcel?

1:48 AM  
Anonymous Blu said...

Man Queue.....every time I was at your house Adam was either there or on his way there or had just left BUT was coming right back. I really liked him...he didn't ridicule me for liking the Happy Tree Friends or look at me like I had horns when I couldn't figure out how to play poker.....even after hours of sitting there trying! LOL

Sounds like J is going to have a tough time at first...but it also sounds like you know JUST how to handle that.

7:57 AM  
Blogger CousinSarah said...

Man that is so hard. My man doesnt get close easy. Not his way...he is cool and all, but not close. When we moved here from STL, his best friend (they became friends in the 9th grade when both thier parents were stationed in the military in ENGLAND and then both ended up in STL) now lives in Cali tryin to get his acting thing off the ground and Rich moved here when I got the job. So now they are far apart and while he always says the space doesnt change anything in thier friendship, I have not seen him be able to compare to that since we moved here. That is hard. I want him to be happy. It will be hard for him. Money for us is always tight and for his boy too...I mean a strugglin actor...niether of us have just a comfortable finanicial situation...shyt is always tight. So it makes visiting more difficult. I know it will be hard for Jerry (as both our men are aquarius). And it also sounds like they have the strong foundation that the missing will be bad, but the bond will remain strong. It is REALLY hard to have someone leave that your baby loves, and who loves your baby. That is one of my big worries here. His Aunt Brandy, Uncle Amph and Uncle Mehran will be things he will ask for on the regular if we move back to STL. All got the name aunt and uncle spontaneously when J just started referring to them as that. In his little mind, they are family and that is it. That part is sooo hard. Just make sure he talks to her when he I am sure you will, just so they remember. :)

And I am like Copasetic...I want my friendship that is that tight and stays that way....seems like it is hard for me to form new friendships that stay as strong as they start. Life changes always seem to move them. That is really hard sometimes....I tend to only have a few close friends that I trust. I have met some really wonderful women here through this poetry and it has helped in feeling homesick a great deal. I am very blessed and thankful for those new friendships. I have a girl here I am close to, and we have had our struggles, working to make it better. I have a couple close friends in college, but one is in KC and the other in Alton IL. Far away. The others we keep in touch, see how we are doing, but they arent a life line ya know? And you need those. At least I do. So I am feelin Jerry. That is always such a hard change. I know it will be hard for you too. Just keep on comforting each other you know....and remember now you have a place to stay when you visit Japan. :) I will keep you both in my prayers...never too many of those!

6:13 PM  

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