Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I blog because

J my fiancée is a bit… shall we say disturbed – yes disturbed in that way yes- but really disturbed that he reads so much about me on my blog. He has started to blog a bit. And I enjoy reading the moments from the non stop onslaught of ramblings his mind puts forth, but he doesn't log in nearly as much as I do.

You ever know something is so vitally important to your relationship you would do anything to make sure the need is filled. That is what this blog is for me. I started it because I don't normally participate in small talk. Don't randomly throw out my thoughts to people in general conversation. I've really just not had the kind of friends who care to just talk in a very long while. Jerry is my best friend and he ALWAYS wants to talk. About miscellaneous anything, and I love that. I've just not been groomed much as a talker. I love to read and discuss poetry and poems black issues, political issues, books, almost anything, J just happens to find the almost in that statement more than I care to admit. But Can I tell you how comforting it is that my man, my mate wants to talk to me – that he cares what is going on in my head, and my heart. The fact that he worries because he hasn't seen any new poetry from me in a while is heart warming. Makes me know why I am going to Jamaica in two weeks.

The fact that his brain – shoot anybody's brain like his intimidates me, is my own personal issue. But my opinions are mine and I am beginning to stand stronger and firmer on them and feel more able to share them with out feeling undereducated. I have been working on this aspect of myself since I decided to marry a genius. You gotta feel comfortable with your own intelligence before you can marry someone who with the right training and desire could arguably out think 94% of the population.

Even still I think Jerry is a better writer than me - which is why he thinks I don't seek him out to share my writing with him but really...its like Daniel-san showing Mr. Miagi his new sea gull kick - you just know he's gonna send him back to wax another car. And even Though I know Jerry won't sometimes his writing does. But I blog because I know He will read it.  I didn't think he ws reading it this often but I blog because I knew he came here to see what I was thinking – and maybe he would ask me about it and I could remember all the random thoughts that only have time to pass my mind while at work, and we could talk about them then - because right after work life starts, and his mind is still dealing with the random thoughts. So since I know he will read this…


Baby – I blog so you can read this, so you can know me a little better everyday, because I love you, because I never remember to tell you all the little thoughts – So I can share, I blog so you can read this.   


Anonymous Blu said...

Beautifully said. You and Jerry inspire me and give me hope. Peace and love.

9:08 AM  

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