Untitled Poem

I have been writing - and CoPo Soul has been hounding me to put up some new work. So here it is- if anybody has a title in mind I'd love to hear it.

 

I don't wake for sunrises anymore

Don't sit in the grass when the rain pours

I am not the woman I used to be

When I look in mirrors I don't know  which reflection

To believe

I  have learned dreams are just dreams

And reality isn't all that real

When you don't know who's looking back at you

The fact that you have furrowed your brow

And put your drink down  

Just means you don't know who you see either

I push my palm out to meet her

But there is always this stupid glass between us

And no phone to the right of my medicine cabinet

Her voice absent

Flesh replaced by glass that

Doesn't give anything back

Me trying to track the moment we became strangers

We have the same eyes the same hair

But the recognition is just not there

I know her don't I?

She wants to sit and watch planes land

Lose shoes in Mississippi mud sand

And write poems

Me I want to hold my daughter

Love her father

And write poems

Words – I use to know them

But now they are just as strange to me

As the reflection I seek out but I cannot find mine

My words or my vision

Myself or my wisdom

I chase my past

Reflections of what I remember

Warped faded pixilated

Some days she believes me when I say

I chase the fireflies of my creativity

But I won't catch them

Can't contain myself in Jelly jars

Sweet residue not enough to sustain them

and I couldn't bear to let them go again     

We the two ends of the same rainbow

So different but the same though

Mirrors reflect the truth of what we see

Not reality

Even if I see the sun rise in my daughters eyes

And sit at let his love fall on me

I see I am not the woman I used to be

I am better