My future as a parent...and then my parenting nightmare - appearing in that order...

kid in vending
Originally uploaded by Queue_D.

Yes, that’s a 3-year-old boy.

In his PJs.

Sitting inside a toy vending machine, the kind with the claw that picks up toys.

In Walmart.

Somewhere in Indiana.

During the 3 o’clock hour.

In the a.m.

This is how The Washington Post reported the story:

“ELKHART, Ind. -- A 3-year-old boy upset that his mother wouldn't let him use a crane vending machine to try to win a small stuffed animal took matters in his own hands. He climbed up the chute to get the prize himself.

Danielle Manges said she took her eyes off her son, James, for a moment to pick up a juice bottle he threw. When she looked up, he was in with the plush toys. ‘I bent over to clean it and within two seconds he had climbed through the hole, into the chute and pushed the door shut so we couldn't get him out,’ she said. ‘He climbed up in the toys and was in there for a good hour.’”

Some key questions:

Why were they shopping at 3:30 in the morning? The mother told reporters that she decided to do the super-early shopping because the boy’s sleep schedule had been off-kilter due to a recent illness. I can identify for me since college the best way to shop Wally World is the middle of the night – tha why they leave them open 24 hours anyway .

Mom was looking away and this happened that quickly? Mom says yes. According to a BBC report, the mom said that this child “had become adept at climbing out of his playpen, doors and even windows. I can identify I swear kids can move at the speed of light as soon as you stop looking at them – See Cammy fly down stairs at 10 months old….

How did he get out? The fine folks at the local fire house broke the kid out after store managers couldn’t find a key to the vending machine.

The mom took pictures? Yes, in a classic Lynette Scavo move (mom of “Desperate Housewives” fame), the pregnant mom bought a disposable camera and took pictures of the entire event, no doubt to commemorate it in a family scrapbook. I would have had my digital I’m sure….

Did the kid get a toy as a souvenir? No, the mom told the Associated Press, unless you count the photos. I would’ve kept one for the scrap book..

Student-teacher matrimonials

Remember that sexual offender and former sixth grade teacher Mary Kay Letourneau well she married her former student (whom she met when he was her 12-year-old student) on last Friday. As you may recall from the sordid news stories, the two lovebirds -- now ages 43 and 22 -- have two children, the second of whom Letourneau gave birth to while she was serving 7.5 years in prison for child rape. And this is T.V people? Jerry was sickened by the display, Granny thought it was amusing. I after watching seasons and seasons of shows like the bachelor/bachelorette, wife swap, What ever the adoption show was, not surprised unfortunately, then proceeded to watch Amber and Rob tie the knot after proving to be two of the less desirable people on the planet. I had to watch, actually I just didn’t turn the channel – there is a difference.

While some people, once convicted of a sexual offense, might opt to conduct their lives in private, Letourneau and her groom, Vili Fualaau, chose instead to highlight their wedding festivities on “Entertainment Tonight,” which is featuring them as a celebrity couple. I can’t be mad if someone was willing to pay for the right to air Jerry and my wedding we’d do it in a heartbeat. Alas it has been mentioned by Jerry he would have to me a woman recovering from a sex change operation and I’d have to be suffering from some life threatening stupidity that catapulted me into mediocre celebrity – poetry withstanding. Its been on all week they aired each piece of the reception and actually showed you the whole thing in clips then just aired it all continuously one good time and called that T.V. (Remember, this is an EXCLUSIVE!) The "entertainment news” program is prominently featuring the story of this exclusive footage of the sex offender and her betrothed with the online headline, “Mary Kay & Vili’s Wedding!” (Yes, they included an exclamation point.)

Is it just me, or do the words “entertainment,” “celebrity” and “convicted sex offender” seem odd when used together?

Thanks to the other bloggin mom who I saw this posted on first. I just added my thoughts to hers She is my sister in Blogging - I gotta find her again!