Stream of consciousness

Stream of consciousness…

You guys remember a few weeks ago I posted a post when I was trying out wordpress and dual blogging here I posted about women and friends? You remember don’t cha?
Went all on about women and how difficult it can be to be a woman amongst women.
Yeah? Well, one of the girls I went to high school with and mentioned by name googled her self and guess who’s website was listed as number 1? Yeah, exactly.  (why did I mention her by her actual name I have no idea, any of them really.)
But she, well, I’ll reprint her post here since she left it.

Hi Raquita,  I just happened to google my name on the internet to see what I came up with.  And to my surprise my name came up on your page.  After reading your blog on 'women, friends and trust' I feel ashamed of the pain that I caused you when we where in high school.  Never in a million years would I have thought my name would be linked to such cruel, mean, and unkind feelings.  Today, I pride myself on helping others and being a great resource for my friends and family.  I volunteer my time for such organizations as Junior Achievement and anything else that has to do with bettering the lives of children.  The truth of the matter is, I was a very self conscious girl in high school and was dealing with my own poor self esteem/image (if you remember I wasn’t the smallest girl @ RGHS either – and my hair wasn’t the longest).  I let people influence me (I was weak).  Fitting in was much easier.   None of this is an excuse for the way I made you feel.  I just want you to know some of the reasons behind my actions.  I will say to you today, I’m sorry that I caused you to not trust women.  I apologize for all the harsh words, looks, or anything else that made you uncomfortable and feel bad.  When I saw you at the 10 year reunion, I was so happy to see you with your family.  I mentioned to several people afterward who did not get a chance to attend that you had a beautiful daughter and seemed very happy.(image placeholder)  To answer your question, you’ve never done anything to me.  Perhaps you were the target so I wouldn't be.  When I think of Raquita Jones, I think of the girl with the camera who took the best year book pictures ever (I was only ). In earlier years, I remember Raquita as the girl who was an(second to you  absolute fan of Janet Jackson and toted the scrap book around of her. Oh and also of the girl who got along with most guys in school.  I remember a boy I was dating came home and told me he played basketball with you and you were really good.  Never could I make a connection like that with a boy.  I admired that you could be friends with guys and not have to date them.   So please accept my apology.  I know that it cannot undo what happened when we were teenagers but I hope it will help you to know that I was hurting too.  Not in the exact same way but hurting none the less.  I cannot speak for the others but, I hope that you will forgive me.  I want to be as blessed as you are one day to have a daughter as beautiful as Cammy.  I will make sure that I share this story with her to ensure that there will be no repeat offenders in my family.   I hope that now when you think of Pauletta Whitehorn you will remember something good as well.Sincerely,Pauletta Whitehorn

I sent a note of apology as well, as  I shouldn’t have posted their actual names and will go back and edit that and make that right. My note of apology read

I would like to apologize as well, I never should have put your actual name in that post, it never occurred to me that anyone who I went to high school  would ever run across it. and I will remove yours and the others as I don't want people to google your name and come across it either.
high school was a long time ago, and it has been far too long to still hold grudges. I assure you I don't hold any, although I will admit the scars are still there.
We were all just girls trying to figure out our way into womanhood. no one ever said any of the walk would be easy. It amazes me still when you ask people what they remember how different the memories could be. You were so strong to me. at the time I thought you could see my insecurity and that was transgression enough. You were a great photographer, between you and (the other girl who took pictures with us in high school)  (never tell her I thought you were better than her too)  I was always very proud of the work we did in those classes.
This post came on a difficult little stretch - trying to figure how to give Cammy everything she needs, all the tools I can, how to make it easier, stop the scars, use my past to better her future. Explain to my other friend so she could see, too. So please accept my apology as well. 
 Hopefully we can both use these experiences to better the kids we come in contact with, I promise I wouldn’t change a thing about high school - or I would have never come to Jerry and Cammy. That is a trade I would never make, and I'm sure you have beautiful children in your future, maybe we can think play date one day?

Raquita

Lo and behold the power of the internets and a blog.

random thought on my faith

I wish I went to this guys church, and I’m not real big on church. But if I could find a local church that went with this process I probably would go more often.

http://www.whchurch.org//whchurch/pdfs/2006-07-30_NYTimes.pdf

I am pro life, in general and we disagree on some little things, but man – he’s got me on the big ones.

Cammy journaling #2 - princess Camille

imgp7448
Originally uploaded by raquita.

So Cammy, you are two years four months and roughly six days old.
You are talking up a storm. Our days are filled with conversation with you and sometimes it catches up off guard.
You ask “What cha doing?” a lot. You are saying whole statements like “I would like some candy please.” And “I am watching baseball with my daddy.” You also call out touchdown during football games. You are still really, really attached to your binky, stating the other day with your granny. “ I must have it have to go back for it granny!!” when you left it at church.
You are talking to me about the things we watch on TV, we have discussed the rat and the dog fight on lady and the tramp. And what a baby is, and why its so amazing. Your Disney movie obsession is going strong. Currently we are watching Fox and the Hound (more puppies) although we start it after the mother gets killed, again. We talk about how important it is to be true friends, and treat people the way you want to be treated. You like to cook with me. I love to cook with you. We are good friends. We have a good time. You have started paying attention to my stern voice better. You have spurned a set bed time. Although you are set to your bed time routine. We MUST read a story or two, where the wild tings are, and god gave us you, are in heavy rotation. Corduroy books and books with flaps are favorites too. you are brushing your teeth all by your self, and barely need a boost to rinse anymore. You run like the dickens when its time for pajamas but you will say you are ready for bed and take my hand to help you get ready. You will be starting school soon. I’m a little nervous but I think we have found a good place for you. We are excited for you!
You are gonna be the flower girl in TiTi’s wedding. We are practicing with your multiple holloween costumes. And watching my little sister get married gives me glimpses of what it will be like to watch you marry, and watching you walk down the isle – as the flower girl, is by far going to be the highlight of my day.
You are officially our little lady. No longer a baby. Even when I cradle you like Darling cradles her baby and you laugh when I sing to you, you are only a baby in my memories. My little baby girl.

Tuesday - its not monday

I tell you.
I’m feelin better.
I’m not moving around enough still. But the home is slowly coming together. Cammy’s school situation is coming to ahead. We’ve got a pretty good idea of what we want for Cammy, finding a place that fills those needs has proven challenging in our current budget. The funny thing is, Jerry and I are in the catch-22 level of finance. Just enough income to get NO HELP at all. We make too little to be financially secure, and to much to qualify for many programs designed to help get your kid into the school you want but can’t afford. I’m screwed cause I’m not jacked up. Thanks mom.  
Anyway, Jerry and I are learning the dance. I’m learning when to step in, when to back out. Its not as cut and dry as I had expected.
You know when you are young, you have all these dreams and expectations about marriage and men. You watch princess movies, and bad TV dramas, romantic comedies,  and you think you know what you want, what to expect. And then you grow up. And boys, don’t turn into the men we dreamed up. We do our damnedest to turn into the characters on TV, the princesses, ladies, the perfect blend of Claire Huxtable and Foxy Brown (that was my personal aim).  But the fellas, it never occurs to them – the majority – to be prince charming when they grow up, their mommas just want them to be ‘nice boys’.
Lucky bastards.
And then you think you’ve figured it out. You get your heart broken and while you are putting yourself back together you think – man, I’ve seen the light. I got a idea of how this works now, I got the dance down.  And you do the dance, get better at not getting broken – hopefully, and finally find somebody who you like to do the dance with.
You dance to the alter and figure out the song has changed, and the dance steps are a little different. And they keep changing. And your music interpretation is changing and so is his, so you gotta get him to tell you what he’s hearing and tell him what you are hearing. So everybody is stepping on two.
Well anyway, we are dancing together. I’m learning when to let him solo, when he needs me to, how to help him lead, how to support my frame, how to quick step, fox trot, and I like it. I like that we have some semblance of structure developing. Funny the same things they tell you children need to feel secure – grownups need too. Go figure.

I really want to take those dance classes I was talking about a few months ago.
Total side thought.
I went to visit a dance school. My husband will read this and go, “when did you do that?!?!”
A girl’s gotta have some kinda secrets.
I think I want some painting lesions for Christmas, my favorite artist gives lessons.
There is a easel I think I’m gonna pick up for my craft room.
My husband got a new suit for my sisters wedding, if he looks as good as I expect him too, I swear if we get through the whole day with out me ripping off his clothes I will have done my duty.

women friends and trust

a girl and her NeNe
Originally uploaded by raquita.

As a woman I have always had friend issues. Trust issues. Afraid of being back stabbed. Always hearing my name amongst whispers in the hallway. Being the brunt of name calling. Guys, never had a problem with the guys in school, in life, didn’t catch a whole lot of flack unless they happened to be with a girl who was into giving me shit.
And there were a few Jennifer Wells, Pauletta Whitehorn, Trinette Jones, who gave me more than enough grief in high school. Their names stained in my brain, faces stamped in my nightmares for years. I remember trying to figure out why, I was the target. What transgression I had inflicted, what had I ever done to them?
It never really mattered, if you asked them now, they probably couldn’t tell you what my crime had been. At work recently, a co-worker recalled a girl who she and her friends made fun of constantly – her transgression – her eye brows. How she chose to wear her eye brows. I am ashamed that I didn’t call her on why that was a justifiable offense, when she has a two year old daughter she is raising right now. And I wonder if my daughter will have to face her child, and defend something as trivial as her eyebrows. So alas maybe they can remember. But it doesn’t matter it just made it hard for me to trust women in general. Made me question anybody who had something to say that was nice or kind, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting to hear what they really thought. There were days where I snapped and kept the line relatively drawn. There were subjects you didn’t touch. Days I just wasn’t in the mood.
And it didn’t hurt that I wasn’t small. I was 5’7” 150lbs and on the basketball team. I was fit, and not afraid of being physical. But self conscious and thought I was a blimp. But I wasn’t trying to be suspended. In my school suspension (i.e. days absent) reflected on your grades, and I didn’t have any grades or days to spare.
Then I met Candy.
We were Sophomores I think. She was in band. She was pretty. And Smart. And just as damaged as I was. She was church mouse quiet. But a blast to hang out with. She and the group of friends we quilted together Curtis, John, Candy, Myself, Johns girlfriend, later my boyfriend, and sister and my sisters friend who then became John’s second girlfriend.
And I remember this because I remember how that group of people, especially Candy got me through those last years of high school. And I remember how devastated I was when she walked away.
She got pregnant when we were in college together. She had actually left me long before that but she seriously stopped talking to me then. Our friendship as teetered off and on since then, most days me waiting for her to need me, miss me, call me. Me calling because I need her, miss her, and my God daughter. They live just far enough away that I can’t just stop by and take them to lunch. She’s had a second child. She’s still the smart one, still pretty, still the one I look at with wonder. The distance by car seems to equal the one in our relationship, long when you think about it, but actually kinda short once you drive it.
I mention all of this because my currently best friend, Spoken, blogs too, she will read this when I post it to wordpress, I have mentioned her in many a post, good ones, and not so good ones. But she is my ace. There no matter what. Our friendship has been stretched, pulled, and pushed, taken its lumps but she is still here.
We are fundamentally different, yet the same. I feel safe in our friendship. She’s got to cut down the cursing with my kid around. And I think my kid picked up “Stupid ______!!!” from her. Which caught my attention when it was “stupid mommy”. But other wise…
I don’t believe she is just going to disappear. In the beginning I did. But slowly, surely, we have crafted something, solid, that will not simply be put away. For me it was simply a matter of wanting a friend more than I wanted to not be hurt. Things happened at all the right times I guess. I had recently had it out with Candy about the state of that friendship. And I had come to peace with it. Misunderstandings were understood, and I came to accept what she could offer me as my friend, and let go of what we used to be to each other. So when Spoken came, actually she was given to me, I was alright with the relationships with the other women in my life. My mother and I are closer than we have been since I was – shoot twelve. I am so close to my Aunt. My sister is my hands down absolute BEST FRIEND on the planet, the way your sister should be, in that cheesy TV sitcom kinda way. But Spoken she came and gave me what I was missing. Someone who honestly chooses to be your friend. And if I were to die tomorrow, I believe Spoken would be there to tell Cammy who I was. In ways that Jerry and my sister would not think to say, she would remember the things I would want Cammy to know, that I don’t know to tell anyone so they know.
And I the post I’ve linked to previously Spoken talks a little bit about how hard it is to share thing with me, because she values my opinion, and doesn’t want to disappoint me. That she envies my life and my relationship with my family.
What she doesn’t know is as much as I love my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
I envy hers as well.
Spoken is honestly one of the most honest – at least when she’s being honest with her self – brutally honest people I know. My mother is the only other person I know who doesn’t even own gloves to take off, that’s how real they keep it.
She is honorable. And she has this awesome work ethic I hope she helps me instill in Cammy. She is smart. And talented. She speaks several languages, plays classical cello, and is single and free to do anything and go any where. She wasn’t afraid to leave her family and go. My biggest wish is that she trusted me enough to play for us.
But I envy her freedom, not in a I would trade what I have for it, but - I wish I had it too - way.
The funny thing is she’s seen my yard up close, she knows where the brown spots are and how much work it takes to keep my grass green. Its grass, my special mix of grass seed that works for my yard. Granted I use a special fertilizer, made by that family she envies. But its no greener than any other yard. And I know the grass is not greener in her yard. I’ve seen hers up close, its green, just not greener than my grass. She makes my grass greener.
So what I want to say to you Spoken, is ours is not to envy as individuals, because you have been instrumental in my world it would not be what it is with out you, and I hope yours with out me.
Yes I want you to relax and be happy and have fun, because I remember what it was when I was in your exact place, and regret is not something I want you to find after you settle down. My regrets are few and very far between, mostly because I chose to live! and I am still trying to hold that choice close to me. Enjoy the life you have been blessed with, ENJOY it. You do not get extra time later. Today is what you will remember tomorrow. This is what scares me for you, if I was ever to be disappointed, that would be why. If you live and die with regrets – real ones not the silly ones we spot in the middle of the night over Greys reruns, that would make me sad. Make it count, Spoken.

love thursday

my sister....
Originally uploaded by raquita.

this is my sister trying on dresses for her wedding in November. She is the reason my posts will be rather sporadic for a litte while bu tit seemed like a fitting love thursday post cause I love when she looks this happy.

I do not love you....

I do not love you
-pablo neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose,
or topaz,or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret,
between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep


My husband used to read this to me in Spanish and English. Usually during intimate moments between us, physical or not, in the quiet of midnights, even now I can close my eyes and remember his voice pressing against me, my hands holding us still and the breeze from the books pages. My mother asked me for love quotes, my sister asked me for poems, and this is the one I think of every time they asks me, and I thought if I posted it here, I could let my husband see that I remember, I remember all of it.

its Wedsday...

Hump day is Grateful Day for my friends Cousin and Copo! (Hi guys!!!)
So I need to bite and today I will list mine.
1. I am grateful for my creation and the life I have been blessed with
2. for my child and her cute little hands.
3. for my husband who pays attention and listens and hears me
4. that Copo found a slam nation dvd – movie party copo!?!?!?
5.I’m grateful that I am employed, even if I am not in love with my job.
6. I am grateful that my sister liked the dress I found for my kid.
7. I am grateful my family is always there for me,
8. Grateful that I have talents even if I don’t know what to do with them
9. grateful, that I am grateful, that I know how good my life really is.

today is the begining

But is it still the beginning if today was really two days ago?
10/9/06
I’m telling you – its been a whole year in my head not just a week or so since my last post- real post. Things are swirling like a typhoon around us, and it is just a matter of will that there is relative calm in our home, despite all the things that are going on. In a breath of good things though – the more I pray and meditate about our situation - the more clear I become about what exactly is expected of me. Not by my husband or anybody else mind you, but what I expect and what I believe God expects of me.
The difference between who you want to be, who you need to be and who you are sometimes can feel so vast. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see who I want to be and she seems so far away. Who I need to be isn’t too far from who I want to be, and who I am is just going to have to change. Today I am making the changes necessary to become who I need to be.
I’ll let you know how that goes.
In the mean time I am hunting up a school for Cammy. It is the number one item on my to do list. I’ve made an appointment to visit with the school that is currently top on my list. A friend of mine used to work there and had nothing but wonderful things to say about it. They kids have a great student teacher ratio and special needs kids, although I believe all children are special needs, but children with disabilities and children with out are kept in inclusive care. I would love for Cammy to learn by more than just saying that all people are the special, and learn how to respect all people, and build compassion and all of the other lessons we believe its time for her to learn.

I’ve had to make MORE lasagna. It was Chris’ birthday and alas – he must have lasagna.
Alas so I made it.
I went to the Shaw Art fair this weekend, and spent some time with my sister like two or three times. Which is sadly unusual. Her wedding is upcoming, so I bet I’ll see even more of her lately. I like hanging out with her, and I hate that it is simply a matter of us living on opposite sides of the city that keeps us from hanging out. You know when she was moving across the country I just knew because she stayed I would be able to see her more often, but that is not the case. I spend evenings with cousins who are not really, and wish I could have the Ronata I want, in addition to the one I have.
I miss having a stereo in my house.
That was a random thought.
I was just thinking how nice it would be to go home and turn up the stereo and dance with my husband and daughter, and cook together and chill. But that cannot happen. Receiver is totally busted.
And I’d like a new CD player.
I would like a frozen apple martini, some sushi, and a chocolate fondue dessert from melting pot.
10/10/06
I’m not feeling cute. Not feeling attractive in the least. Started walking at work on my breaks and lunch. That makes me feel a bit less like a blob.
I don’t like feeling this way. I don’t like how
Did I say I was cutting all fast food out of my diet, all soda – except for my single bi-weekly cheat of a IBC cream soda. Gonna try and trim all the high fructose corn syrup – heard you can find soda made out of actual cane sugar – actually I don’ think that will be productive so I’m not gonna Google it yet.
I need to shed 100 lbs in eight months. Without surgery. I think I need to start running. I hate running. Maybe I’ll get that bike seat. I really hate running. Like people hate skin heads and racists THAT is how I hate running. I love playing sports. I need a basket ball league or volleyball or something. I know what you are thinking. And no, I don’t mind running in the context of a sport but I hate running like to get from point a to b. Track is not a sport – it’s a getaway practice. Its high end walking.
(I know its really a sport all you track runners out there – I don’t want to hear it today. I was even on the track team, Shot-put. That’s right NO RUNNING)
Anyway I figure I gotta have a goal people. Any ideas where I can get some decent menu ideas?
My husband brought me some sushi today.
I love him.
I got a zillion things to do to get ready for my sisters wedding, too bad I can’t lose that hundred pounds by Nov 5th.
I’d even cheat and take a pill if I thought it would work.
Lipo, if I had the money I’d do it. But that’s surgery isn’t it, maybe I’d bend a little on that surgery thing.
Anyway – its kind of a bad day- or the last few have been less than stellar for me.
We’ll see what tomorrow brings .

Maybe I’ll bake. But that isn’t gonna help the weight thing is it?

Hmmm.

5 years and then....

How different were you 5 years ago?
September 2001
How old were you? 24
Where did you go to school? Wasn’t in school
Where did you work? Southwestern bell
Where did you live? St. Louis County hazelwood
Where did you hang out? Legacy Books, and other poetry readings
How was your hair? Afro’d it was LARGE ya’ll
Did you wear glasses? nope
Who was your best friend? Starlight, Amber, sheba
Who was your regular-person crush? Didn’t really crush then – I was too high on myself
How many tattoos did you have? none
How many piercings did you have? None – just ears
What car did you drive? 95 VW jetta – I loved that car
What was your worst fear? Not finding a job I loved
Had you smoked a cigarette yet? Yea I tried it but I don’t smoke
Had you been arrested? Yes – I had an aversion to traffic court
Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: dating like a maniac*

*LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !!!!!**
September 2006:
How old are you? 29
Where do you work? At&t (same company – after merger)
same town? St.Louis city – which is like night and day .
Where do you hang out? my living room
Do you wear glasses? nope
What is your hairstyle? Locs
Who are your best friends? Spoken, Ronata and Renata
Still talk to any of your old friends? yep
How many piercings do you have? Same ears
How many tattoos? none
What kind of car do you have? I split a trailblazer
What is your biggest fear? Not making the right choices for cammy
Have you been arrested since if so how many times total? Once – the last time – I got all those traiffc things fixed
Has your heart been broken? yes
Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: MARRIED

biggest change? I am a mom now.

Anybody else wanna crack at it? Post a comment and I’ll come read yours

Friday's are Grey

Okay so yesterdays epi was "Sometimes a Fantasy"
and I am loving the direction the writers are moving with this season. The thing I appreciated most about this epi and the show in general is that they don’t hold the focus any one place too long.
So lets jump right in!
*Just a note this epi was written by Debra Cahn and you can read her take on it over at Grey Matter.

Okay. My friends, we call our selves the Three Heffas, it’s a loving term really, watch the show normally together- although heffa numba two (i.e Spoken) works late on Thursday and we end up watching it twice when she comes over. We each identify with a different character, I am pretty much Christina only I’m way more sensitive than her, even if I forget to be nice sometimes, Spoken is Meredith – only with out the sleeping around thing, and Renata is equal parts Issy and Callie, only with out the killing of patients cause Renata is the only one of us who is a Dr. or the closest to being a Dr, and is the only one of us who has access to patients to kill. That seems to be the thing this season, as they flesh out the characters more and more we each begin to see more of your self in the other characters. Like I am totally feeling Issy right now.
I love how she is just tortured inside and knows she can’t go back in there (the hospital) until she is less tortured. In my living room after the season opener I stated several time, that the only way Issy is gonna get any move on – going on is to get some closure and Per the previews next week she’ll get the closure I knew she would.
Now Christina, she’s smart like me, and I refuse to believe that it takes her – me – that long to come to the conclusion that support is needed, and figure out a way to support. Deep down Christina is like me – shes a care giver and I think that she bottled that away cause shes got mommy issues. But when she can get over her mommy issues (which loving Burke the way he has to be loved represents) she will be okay with caring and it won’t take her a whole show to figure out how to care. Cause the chicken, that was totally, totally cool.
Burke himself is going to have a rough time of it, he’s trying to make it okay in him self that he might not be able to be a surgeon, but he needs Christina to be like his mom, and know it for him, despite all the logic. And I think that is what Burkes mom was trying to convey last week, and it is truly what I would want for my son. A woman who believes what is necessary despite and beyond what he believes. Reality is all about what you believe. Burkes mom believes his hand will be better, and Christina has too as well. And the chicken was her belief. I think Burkes mom would be proud.
Mer/Der/Fin
Okay – I remember being Meredith, before Jerry, like RIGHT before Jerry I was dating. Like seven or eight guys. Seriously. We were just dating. No hanky panky. Dinner and a movie. And I was on a serial dating spree. It was a second job, and just as hard. Do you know how hard it is to keep more than one guy straight in your head?
You don’t talk about anything meaningful cause you don’t want to forget who was trying to go to law school, and who was trying to open a recording studio. It makes me tired just thinking about it. And when the guys happen to bump into you while you are dating somebody else. Egos do fly.
So I can totally sympathize with Mer on this one. Cause you could tell at the end of last weeks episode those guys were just as amped about competing with each other as they were about winning Mer. They are doctors – McVet is still a doctor no matter what Christina thinks – and doctors are competitive.
I bet that whole dating thing goes the way side next week – with Mer hopefully choosing the vet – hey I can dream.
And the Threesome dream, SWEET!! While I have no desire to sleep with two guys I can appreciate being surrounded by that much sexiness, on your own terms. Again read the writers take on it, it will make you smile and laugh.
George and Callie. George is such a boy. He doesn’t know what he wants. When Callie told him to use his words, HILL-arious! And him ranting about the Green Lantern and Robin?!?! Callie she is classic with the towel. I love how she’s like - what ever - that will teach you to ask me about your stupid towel. You’re sleeping with me but you are nervous about your towel?
And Addison. I love her and Mc Steamy together. And I love her interactions with Meredith. They are AWESOME! Addison is AWESOME. She’s my favorite woman and if she was just a little more snippy I’d be Addison with out the cheating on the husband part – LOVE YOU HONEY!!! And he’ll (McSteamy) stay in Seattle because she’s staying cause the chief was right, it is the best opportunity and she’s smart enough to know that – even if it will be torture running into Derrick and Mer, but Mc Steamy staying will even the playing field, and make Derrick six levels of uncomfortable. I think he still hasn’t dealt with the loss of his friend any more than he had dealt with the loss of his marriage.
Wish we had gotten some more on the chief and his marriage and what’s up with Mer’s mom lately? What say you Chief goes back to her? Yes she’s sick, but he’s gonna take care of her. What’s say you?!?! I’m crazy, we’ll see.

Well what did you guys think?

Love Thursday - Thinkin he loves her too

Thinkin he loves her too
Originally uploaded by raquita.

This is my love thursday post. WE don't love Arbys just each other, but the arbys thing was fun, we wore those things through the taste of st. louis over the weekend, yes while we were eating samples from five star places we had on Arbys hats.

it was sweet!!!

and my kid is too cute, and my man his cuteness can only be rivaled by hers.

Biff's Question Song

I like him.

Overheard in St. Louis - cyber moms attack

Early evening phone conversation at 4:53 this evening.
Me: This is Raquita, hi mom.
Mom: How come I can’t compose an e-mail in G-mail?
Me: what do you mean you can’t compose an e-mail?
Mom: you know write an e-mail? Compose and e-mail… oh wait now I see it, figures,
Me: (hysterical laughter)
Mom: whatever!! Goodbye!
Me: bye mom.