my cuteness meter is on and charging you

Funniest true thought of the day

“Its not just that the glass is half empty, its that he’s allergic to the liquid and owes money on the glass.” – Jerry – the husband

Is it just me or does water seem colder than other beverages on ice, say for instance, tea? I have two glasses – one is full of ice water and one is full of ice tea, same amount of ice in each - and the water seems way colder than the tea.  Just a random thought.

Why am I sitting here JAMMING OUT to Bobby Brown- Every little step? Cause I am officially a old head. Recently I have found myself saying all the things my parents used to say when they would listen to my music station. Why is my parents radio station the station I like now? Why are my parents somewhere cracking up?

And no they didn’t just play Rock Wit U!?!?! Some days I really miss the eighties.

Okay people I know you read the hubby’s blog but you gotta comment there too... You only gotta live with him in this wonderful world of blog, I have the honor and privilege of loving him all up close and personal, besides as the thought of the day indicates he’s way funnier than me.

I found a old binder with a lot of my old poems and works in progress, maybe I’ll post a few, maybe I’ll work on some new stuff we will see. URBIS, people urbis.

Class was GREAT. Chef – the professor- was on my case all night and it was wonderful. I loved every minute of it. I think this might be the right field for me. Now I just gotta take all the classes. Get all the equipment ($$$). Get a starting job that doesn’t make me live on leftovers (i.e. open my own spot). Which means also I need to work on my business plan and thus find investors.  
Note those of you who I really really know and gift are not outside of our relationship - if you are thinking of getting me a gift – think Professional kitchen stuff, (KNIVES and POTS) and GC’s to cool kitchen places like Kitchen Conservatory http://www.kitchenconservatory.com the drool factor in there is pretty high.

Cammy and I have been invited to a African dance show but we can’t really afford it and we can’t afford the second car that makes that trip possible. Alas we’ll be watching Nemo as I work on my homework.

Brad is my boy but Jennifer gets the cool points... 'The Itis', a washing machine and other random thoughts

I just thought I’d put that out there. I ain’t bad at Angelina and Brad – he wanted kids, she wanted to have them, Jen didn’t. And I firmly believe Jen didn’t want kids yet. You make your choices and you gotta live with ‘em. But I still like Jen. And Brad you shoulda called her and been like yo- thought you should know before you see it on the cover of People. Cause you know they still talking on the phone. You know it. I know it. Anyway, If I could get one of those Team Anniston t-shirts I would but that’d be the day I run into Bradgelina on the street. Anyway

Truth of the matter is some days  my dreams feel to big for my head.

Yesterday Jerry and Joe pulled apart the washing machine…..(I’m hoping you can see the long silence.) They were excited. Apparently they had a good time ripping that thing to shreds. I say we should have just bought a new one – but they think they can fix it. (second long silence right here) Lets just say the washing machine tub is on one end of our basement and the rest of it is scattered like roaches when you turn on a light and they stop like you can’t see ‘em- but you can but you sit there and stare like – I can’t believe I got roaches. Yeah, the washing machine is sitting there like I can’t believe my guts are all the way over there. But I’m really glad J got down there and got his hands in something. I really want him to be more handy and more assertive about those things. I think it will give him more confidence, and give me less to worry about.

My next class is Thursday and I’m almost finished with my homework. Got a little more to do, I still have to pick up my uniform, might need to take an hour off so I can get that done tomorrow, or Thursday. Still got a lot of stuff to buy for class. Need a scale and a few bowl scrapers, some measuring cups, a set of sharpies, and a few other bits and pieces, my dad is offering his Target card I may take him up on it if things get too tight. I also need to find my book bag. I know I got one – I haven’t seen it in YEARS though. The dog ate my textbook. Yes the one that costs an obscene amount of money. Almost makes me wanna buy another one. Money is too funny for that though, unless he really takes a chunk out of it. I knew he was too quiet for that. Big fuzzy butt dog.

Cammy is getting over her flu/cold. Such a trooper, and such a big girl – she told the dog to shut up yesterday and has started saying she’s sorry. My friend Joe who was helping with the washer was so surprised she was talking so much.

Al Sharpton is talking about picketing comedy central if they don’t apologize about the MKL episode of the boondocks, talk about somebody TOTALLY missing the point.  You I’ve been thinking about peoples use of the N word and why we as a people are so much more likely to accept it in entertainment and even from one another (although I can’t stand for people to use it in referring directly to me or about a third person, or about themselves.) I have a friend who uses the word negatively and it bothers me and I’ve had to tell her on a couple of occasions – that simply doesn’t fly here (here being my world). And it especially doesn’t fly when being used in regards to my people. I can’t change the way she thinks about her family but I cannot allow her to degrade mine in anyway, they are mine and I won’t stand for it.  
I got side tracked.
Anyway,  I think its mostly because entertainment is entertainment. And people are selective in what they want to make real, they want to make 23 in spinners part of their reality but not insult leveled when somebody raps ‘nigga (fill in appropriate rap lyric here)’. They want all the glitter and glamour but they don’t want to abandon ‘the hood’. That makes me think about ‘The Itis’ episode and what the Mexican worker was saying about chitterlings and the like. Black folks live in ghettos for the same reasons our ancestors ate leftover pig parts – because it is what was available, but that doesn’t mean our lack – as a people – should be glorified. Just like just cause you used to eat something don’t mean you should necessarily be planning on including it in your menu plans for the future. One shouldn’t feel the need to hold on to the behaviors that we out grow as we become more successful. Keeping it real should not be about acting in a way that reminds people where you came from but more about remembering to go back and get somebody and help them find there way to a better situation.  
For example holiday meals. My family normally gets together for holiday meals – about fifty of them. And for the last few years I have been hearing the grumblings about my offerings – calling them bourgeois and the like. Apparently from conversations I and my husband have over heard, I’m too good for them. Cause I do strange stuff to my food. But I think my family deserves the absolute best that I can produce.

They really gonna hate me once I get the culinary degree aren’t they?

I’m loving it… and I’m not talking Mickey D’s neither.

Holla at yo girl!

Cammy up close with Grover...

Cammy up close with Grover...
Originally uploaded by raquita.

Hey - just back from Sesame St Live and Guess who is mom of the week.. we were so close (2nd row end seats) every character stopped by and touched Cammy and waved. She was in awe the whole time. (for more picks go to my flickr account) I bet she hopes I keep my ticket buying skills when she like sixteen and wants to see the newest bowwow person. I shall try and retain them though I can make no promises...

Keeping up with the postin...

Well all I started class. I like the professor and I think I can do well in the class – I just gotta stay focused. There was this kid who was so eager to please and talked too much. I could tell he was annoying the other students I just kinda felt bad for him- He seemed ADHD and slow all at the same time – if that makes any sense. He seemed like the kid that older generations worry about leading America. He wants to be a 3D animator – but he’s taking culinary arts, and working in construction with his brother in law for free. Living in his parents house doing what his mom says. This kid strikes me a s a follower not a leader and I’m wondering what I have to do to make sure Cammy becomes a leader, but also that she knows how to follow – not becomes a follower.

Anyway – My job has become a stickler for a few light hearted things we used to do- for instance we have this instant message system and you could post a status next to your name and leave people a pleasant thought or tell them you are in a meeting. Well now we can’t leave the pleasant thoughts anymore. Honestly some people where pushing the lines of what is a pleasant thought – I myself like to put slogans from internet bumper stickers next to my name but I never offended anybody – okay that one about the vegetarians may have rubbed some tree huggers the wrong way but hey- drink a organic smoothie and move on.

J and the baby are both sick so I’m thinking I’m gonna take a little time today and make them both feel better we got Sesame Street tomorrow and I want them both in tip top shape!

I’ll be posting new poem on Urbis as well as some older work I’d like some feed back on this weekend. I should have my PC all doctored – we got virus issues. We’ll see how that all goes…    

Wondering what the hell...

I am doing right now - I am sitting at the councilor office at the school I have decided to at least attempt taking a class at. I am nervous as a motor skooter. I haven't sat in a class of any type since 2000. At the very earilest.... I've sat here looking at these three sentences for at least fifteen minutes. I can't not do something though. I have to move forward and to do that I gotta take at least one step. But what if this is the wrong thing for me to do? What if I'm just flying on a whim - what if I am no better prepared to be a student now than I was at 19? 20? and how am I supposed to fix the F-d up grades I got and possibly graduate? If I don't how will I expect my child to look at me? How can I ask her to believe me when I say - she has to go to college? That its the new highschool and she only has the choice of school after she gets her bachelors? How can I give her every opportuinty I can if I'm trying to get these opportunities for myself? I don't know anything except I wish there were easy answers to these questions, and I know there isn't. I know I have to move. My feet feel so heavy, clumsy and I wish I could make them light and sure. I wish I could make them light and sure.

Black Man – I’z Luvs Ya but you gon hafta get it together.

My brother turned 21 this month. Shortly before his birthday his boyfriend was pulled over and arrested for outstanding warrants. While the cop had him they did a search of the car and came up with a chrome BB gun under the passenger seat. Its my brothers gun. It holds a magazine, like a real gun, cocks like a real gun. I can’t be upset at all that they arrested his boyfriend and impounded the car. Honestly. How could you be? If your Tags on your car are illegal, your license is suspended, your black and male how can you possibly be upset? There is some strange story about why he was pulled over or rather how the cop ended up running his information. However of course I can’t get the real story so I’m gonna just chalk it up to running a light or bad lane change or other stupid traffic infraction.
On his birthday we got to talking about how much more difficult life is in general for black men and I agree hole heartedly with their points, black men are made to be over emasculated and over masculated all at the same time. And I understand the world is different for you brothas but – really when do we get to the part where you handle your business and do what you gotta do, to get where you need to go? When do we get past how it should be and work with how it is? Yes we should be trying to make the situation better but you shouldn’t be waiting for the promised land before you step up yourself. I spent most of last weekend going back and forth about it. Just wanted to get my vent on. I’m better now.

I'm posting, I'm posting...

Busy busy week. I’m trying to enroll in school this week for a class that starts this Thursday. Don’t get too excited, its just one class and I’m testing out the culinary arts degree program at my local community college. So don’t expect to see any class assignments unless you don’t mind coming here for a little sweet stuff, although I may post pictures occasionally.
Everybody is doing okay – I took off work to go to the MLK march but Cammy was ill so we ended up just going to her doctors apt. I got Jury duty so that is gonna be interesting to say the very least. Never been before but I’m not at all bothered to do my civic duty. Jerry is done working like a Hebrew slave at least this week. And while the itch to write poetry hasn’t been real strong I have been reading and reviewing works on Urbis. I watched a movie last night called A Wedding for Bella – an independent romantic comedy and I really liked it, the female love interest said something that totally made me identify – twice. First she said she totally felt disconnected, and I do most times, I feel like I’m fighting to hold on to everything around me – and I just find my self spinning waiting for everything to just fall from under me and two – she and the male romantic lead (played by Scott Baio- really) were talking about really good people and she said “Don’t they just make the rest of us look like whores.”  Why yes, yes they do. I know a few people like that – but the funny thing is – some people look at us like that too. Any way I’m working harder at posting more often I have a few posts I just haven’t been able to finish but I am writing – keep on me people. And Sarah when are you gonna redo your blog too? Me, 13, and Mo have all did some new visuals you need to get up on it homie!

Thoughts for 2006

I read this and thought of you my blogging friends…

10 THOUGHTS TO PONDER in 2006

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one dies.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism .

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.A

ND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:We know exactly where one cow with 'mad cow disease' is located among the millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Wonder kids unite

Wonder kids unite
Originally uploaded by raquita.

This is cammy and our newest memeber and her new bestest play thing Anubis. The little fuzzy one is starting to chew and my thankfully cheap rug has fallen to his will. I'm in trouble since he likes the taste of Apple bitters. Pray for me.

A quiz cause Sarah asked me too...

Think Three 3 screen names I have:
Queue
Queue_D
JazmyneJ (I thought the first time I was pregnant I was gonna name her Jazmyne)

3 physical things I like about myself:
neck
back
eyes

3 physical things I don't like about myself:
weight
weight
lungs

3 parts of my heritage:
African
Blackfoot indian
Cherokee indian .

3 of my everyday essentials:
Internet
Cammy and Jerry
Camera

3 of my favorite musicians:
Stevie wonder
Jill scott
John Coltrane


3 of my favorite songs (at the moment) -
I'm gonna name artists cause I can't just pick a song :
Sade
Maroon 5
Zero 7

3 things I want in a relationship:
trust
communication
fun/romance

3 lies:
I'm fine
I don't want you to
I don't really want that now

3 of my hobbies right now:
Photography
Reading (books, blogs, poems)
Cooking

3 things I want to do really badly now (with a special someone):
Have sex so good and for so long we had to make twins
Pause time and just talk
go somewhere far away and do the first two things on a beach

3 careers I've considered doing:
Photographer
Chef/Pastry artist
teacher


3 places I would like to go on vacation to:
The hotel where the rooms are actually over the water
Spain
Alaska

3 kid's names I like:
Girls:
Lilly
Amber
Destiny

Boys:
Jarrod
Dante
Jerry


3 ways that I'm a stereotypical dude/lady:
I DO NOT take out trash
I'm never wrong
I expect people to do what I say


3 people I would like to see take this quiz:
don't know just let me know if you do take it...

Romance is dead isn't it?

Men suck at Romance…

You do you really, really do. I have a friend who shall remain nameless who has a holiday forthcoming with his lady friend. I tell him via the hints that she has said in front of me – directly in conversation with him, what I think she would like as a gift or gesture from him. He’s like that seems boring. BORING?!?! What she would like and what would take you relatively minimal effort to produce – would be boring? Spending an evening that she would remember –although it would require some creative thought from his artistic ass – would probably cost him less than 60 bucks. A hundred if he was really being adventurous. But HE finds the evening to be lacking excitement.

‘Cuse?

What happened to men who loved making their lady smile? The kind of guy who brings home the sappy girl movie and some popcorn to make her smile. The guy who lights candles with dinner. The one who doesn’t ask before he rubs her feet, or just brings her a drink.
Now Sarah was talking about this on her blog the other day and I meant to post about it then, but I didn’t - new year will blog- anyway. She was saying that feminism killed romance but only just a little bit. I say the feminism movement took romance out back and beat it like it raped her sister. Seriously. I am decidedly not a feminist. At least in the traditional sense of the statement. Simply because I like being taken care of, I like taking care of my family. I like when my husband opens doors for me. I like romance comedies and romance novels. Me and Nora Roberts? I’m so on it. The occasional Harlequin never hurt anybody. I believe in a womans and a mans roles inside their relationship. While they can be as varied as each relationship feel comfortable with, at my house I am the woman. I don’t take out trash. I like to be the one cooking. I like being the traditional wife in a lot of senses but alas I am not the Donna Reed or even Claire Huxstable for that matter. I don’t do laundry well. I can do it – get it clean but I’m such a bad procrastinator about it – my husband is faster and finds ironing comforting. So he does it. But that is all besides the point.
Feminism has traditionally been all about being equal. And in additionally about power. Making society see us as the same as men. Proving that men are not more powerful than women. Some feminists say that in general womens fear of feminism is really just a fear of politics. I disagree. I have no desire to be seen as the same as a man. We aren’t the same as men. I am not- we are similar. So I can do many of the same things a man can, but we are not at our base - the same. Physically around the age of 16 or so – boys became the strong physically of our two sexes but hey being able to bench press a cow isn't very useful as a woman - I don't think so - outside of making men feel useful by having them open the stuck jar of grape jelly. And i think men and women would be well served to remember and embrace our differences. and 'm not at all saying that feminism hasn't done much for me as a woman - although as a black woman I have my issues with feminism - For crying out loud if men are gonna make more for doing the same job I'd just as well have him spend the difference on flowers, dinner and a few sparkly baubles.

Talk to me people..

My goal for 2006 is also to write shorter blog entries cause I can get a bit carried away on the wordyness...

2005 review jacked from Sarah who jacked from Mo..

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
I got married and bought a house

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t make them so I can’t break them – life is hard enough without putting extra expectations on your self EVERY year… .
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nobody I’m so close to I’d answer yes to this question.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Not this year. Thank God.
5. What countries did you visit? Jamacia. I’m hoping to get that up a few notches in the next two years
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? Second home, financial discipline,more communication with J and my friends.
7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? June 25- I got married. June 6 – we closed on our first house.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?Cammy’s growth as a person this year, being able to mandle the major major steps we did tha year.
9. What was your biggest failure?Not going back to school, not finishing my book, website, CD or writing morethis year.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?nothing major enough to remember.
11. What was the best thing you bought? I’m beginning to sound like a homebody – the house ohh yeah – and the chocolate fountain.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?Jerry, my mom, Jerrys Dad – he came out and spent time with us on several occasions.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?i try not to allow other peoples behavior get to me like that..
14. Where did most of your money go? Bills – all the bills.15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? cooking .
16. What song will always remind you of 2005? Testify-Common and Heard 'Em Say- Kanye “Bush hates black people” West .
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? happier ii. thinner or fatter? Honestly about he same – I didn’t lose anymore pregnancy weight so I’m still bigger than I should be. iii. richer or poorer? Richer although not monitarily – I’m about the same on green backs.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?writing. Living out loud. Traveling.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Feeling like I couldn’t do any of the above.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?With Cam, J and family.
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? J, Spoken, and my mom.
22. Did you fall in love in 2005? everyday.
23. How many one-night stands? none
24. What was your favorite TV program? The Boondocks and Smallville
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?Nope I cut out all thouse people about three years ago when I was pregnant… although I do feel sad for a few people.
26. What was the best book you read?Ntozake Shange - Sassafrass, Cypress, & Indigo.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Zero 7.
28. What did you want and get?Pentax ist D.
29.What did you want and not get? a winning lotto ticket
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Crash and She hate me – saw it on cable and love it.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Didn’t do much of anything, chilled with the hubby and I turned twenty hater.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? being more finanically stable.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? Nonexistant.
34. What kept you sane? my kid, and family.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Anniston they are both such equally different yet facinating people – I can see why Brad was like ‘what to do?’
36. What political issue stirred you the most?Jacking Sarah’s answer -Hurricane Katrina, War in Iraq/Governmental "errors"--still37. Who did you miss?myself somedays – Candance on others.
38. Who was the best new person you met? Spoken,Cam, and everyday I learn soemthing new about J and that is a great thing.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:You have to live the way you want your life to go – it never just happens the way you want it to.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: “Nothing's ever promised tomorrow today. But we'll find a way. And nothing lasts forever but be honest babe, it helps but it may be the only way”

New year New Look....

Happy 06 people... I promise to blog more regularly and I also promise to be better about staying in touch... If you read me know me and all that good jazz- leave me a comment and tell me what you think of the new look...